Calculating Cultivation - Chapter 30: Body Cultivation

Upon waking up, Jiang Fan became a low-level fisherman in Tonghe County, with a home empty as four walls and a stomach rumbling with hunger. Inside, he has a beautiful wife to support, and outside, he faces oppression from the Dragon King Gang and the Government, beset by internal troubles and external woes, nearly at the end of his rope.Fortunately, he awakens his Life Chart with the Great Blessings Equal to Heaven attribute: surviving great ordeals will certainly bring future happiness.As long as he gets through the tribulations, he will surely gain opportunities, with Destiny upon him.……Millions and millions of years later, Jiang Fan looks at the pieces of Immortal Family's supreme treasures in his home, along with the Sect's Fairies, the Dynasty's Goddesses, unparalleled demon queens, and peerless fox girls about to break into a fight, he wants to cry without tears.Heavens, please don't send more, really don't send more, at this rate, the house is about to catch fire, truly can't withstand any more.

Meet Irakiel, the Fairy King with a face that could make the devil jealous, and the “totally not boasting, just stating facts” indirect sibling of the Supreme Nirvana Ancestrial Monarchial Absolute God Emperor.

Life was a breeze until he pulled off a two-million-year resurrection stunt. Now, in a world where everything has evolved, one thing stayed constant – Irakiel's charm. He insists he's not a narcissist anymore, but hey, he's still HIM, blame fate, not him!

Or so he was blaming Fate until he got this notification....

*Ding!*

[Lady Fate is laughing at your luck and sending extremely seductive winks.... with L-lip b-bites?! That's not the end of it!... LADY FATE YOU DARE! Ban!!! EMERGENCY!! We need a thot repellent!]

Since then, Irakiel has never fully recovered from his state of shock.

A Great Author named Oink once said,

“Keep your enemies close and their wives, closer.”

……………………………………………………………

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In the rural northeastern mountainous regions stands a tiny Buddhist temple, named One Finger Temple. It isn’t a large one but it is extremely miraculous.

The temple has rice that emanates an aromatic fragrance.

The temple has sweet and refreshing water that rivals ambrosia.

The temple has Buddhas that grant wishes to the sincere.

The temple isn’t large but it has everything. The temple isn’t large but it has flourishing incense offerings that far exceed all temples. The temple isn’t large but it attracts both citizens and foreigners that line up overnight…

The temple has a bald but handsome monk. Every day, he would bawl, “I want to renounce asceticism! I want to marry a chick that’s not too pretty, have a cute baby, and lead a stable life!”

He had four disobedient disciples, who now achieved success, won recognition and established their own sects.

The embarrassing thing is that it was him who drove those four out of his sect to make them independent.

But one day he had an incident and lost his cultivation. His life was hanging by a thread. Wandering around, he walked into his third disciple’s territory.

What should I do?

Mountains and seas can be tamed, days and nights can disappear.

Only you, the exceptional you, refuse to give up.

——

A man blessed with fortune, the best in his generation, had an accident and started anew; broken in body but firm in spirit, he now uses his wisdom to guide his evil disciples back to the right path.

Notes :
The title 参商 (Shēnshāng) has two meanings:
1) Constellations Shen (ch. “Three Stars mansion”, eu. Orion) and Shang (ch. “Heart mansion”, eu. Antares), which never appear at the same time.
2) Two friends/relatives who are separated/estranged and irreconcilable.

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