Damn it! You Call This Beast Taming? - Chapter 9 - Instant Kill

Talent? Unnecessary! Wealth? Doesn’t matter! Brain? Eat it!

Even if one was the greatest of gutter trashes with zero redeemable qualities, as long as they had a System, they are bound to reach the pinnacle of life.

Compass Carburettor, a dirt-poor orphan with absolutely zero f**king qualities managed to reach the peak of the business world by the age of 35, all while relying on his Money-Making System like a blinded barnacle.

But at the peak of his life, he was betrayed by his System.

At her wedding banquet, a man claiming to be Selina's lover stormed in, brandishing so-called intimate photos and causing chaos.Selina immediately saw through this as a scheme orchestrated by her half-sister, Natalia. However, Selina's fiancé, Ryan, not only refused to believe her but also went out of his way to defend Natalia.It turned out that Ryan and Natalia had already developed feelings for each other in secret. Everyone—Selina's father, stepmother, and Ryan's parents—knew about their affair, except for Selina, who was left in the dark.Taking advantage of the situation, Selina's father suggested swapping brides, proposing that Natalia replace Selina and complete the wedding. Ryan's family not only didn’t object but wholeheartedly supported the idea.That was the moment Selina finally realized the cruel truth: her family and Ryan's family were nothing but wolves in sheep’s clothing!“Cancel the engagement? Fine. But let it be clear—I’m the one rejecting you, you two-timing, spineless excuse for a man!” Selina declared with unshakable confidence.Her gaze then swept across the room, landing on an elegant and distinguished man. She vaguely remembered him as Ryan’s younger uncle. Walking over, she boldly asked, “Sir, how about getting married?”The man raised an eyebrow, finding her audacity intriguing. “It would be my honor, madam,” he replied....

Guys here is my pitch.....In the sprawling world of fantasy, we’ve often been treated to tales of heroes reincarnated with divine blessings, legendary powers, or cheat-like abilities, thrust into magical lands as shining saviors—or chaotic terrors. But what happens when the very concept of reincarnation becomes a curse? When the divine boon is a big fat joke, and the “cheat system” doesn’t quite… cheat?Enter John, the unluckiest reincarnate. Blessed by a god and thrust into a fantasy world, he dreams of glory, power, and adventure—only to wake up as a normal, utterly powerless bird. Not a mythical phoenix, not an ancient thunder eagle. Just… a bird.To make matters worse, this world is no ordinary realm. It's a land scarred by the devastating legacies of past isekai’d heroes and villains, whose reckless exploits piled skeletons into mountains and turned their cheats into harbingers of chaos. Fed up with these unruly intruders, the ancients of the realm banded together to create a world-shaking seal: all reincarnated souls are trapped in the bodies of harmless animals, confined to isolated sanctuaries that function more like fantasy zoos.Here’s the twist: this isn’t mercy. It’s a resource grab. The powerful beast tamers of this realm have turned these reincarnated souls into exotic pets, prized for their cheat-like potential.John finds himself at the bottom of the food chain in every sense. His cheat doesn’t work. His human form is gone. And his world is filled with predatory cultivators who see him as either a snack or a tool.But John isn’t one to give up so easily. What starts as despair quickly turns into cunning survival. With wings and wit as his only tools, John must navigate layers of misfortune, dodge fate’s sharp talons, and cheat his way through a world determined to keep him grounded.Get ready to join John on a wildly unconventional journey—one where reincarnation isn’t a ticket to greatness, but a death sentence he’s determined to rewrite. His story is one of humor, wit, and persistence, as he explores a world where he is the joke and his survival is the punchline.Main tags: reincarnation/isekai, beast taming cultivation system, comedy, action, adventure.Of course No-harem!

[From the Author of Author's POV...]

Emotions are like a drug to us.

The more we experience them, the more we become addicted.

The hardest part is not letting them consume us.

But it's already too late for me.

I've already been swallowed whole.

***

I had no knowledge of the game.

I was meant to have died.

And yet, I found myself in this situation.

A game I had never played before. A character I was unfamiliar with, and... A world that seemed to want to swallow me whole with every move I made.

What the hell is going on?

...and who am I?

……………………………………………………………

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