Dungeon Defense - Chapter 4: Handicapped New Game (3)

I am Racist.…I mean, my name is Racis T.I was a stand-up comedian. The flop kind. The type who only got laughs when someone else was roasting him.One night, I was doing a gig at a shady, run-down bar—the kind where tattooed bikers drink motor oil for breakfast. I went in with my usual dark humor, but my jokes were getting the same reaction as my dating profile: complete silence.That didn’t sit right with my inner artist, who was already starving to death. So I did what any committed comedian would—I went darker.Turns out, one of my jokes (or all of them?) triggered a guy so hard that he pulled a trigger. Headshot. Instant death.But hey, look at this: A guy got triggered, so he pulled the trigger. That’s wordplay. But who cares? I’m dead anyway.All I wanted was a successful show, people laughing, and maybe a few girls swooning over my wit. I never cared about money. The millions I’d have made would have gone to charity—specifically, 0.001% of it. See? I’m generous like that.Anyway, death is death. My story should’ve ended there.But… if there is an afterlife, I had a simple wish: become a successful comedian, find a loving wife, and have just enough money to afford three meals a day… and maybe a humble little private yacht. Or a jet. But that’s it. Because, like I said, I don’t care about money.Unfortunately, wishes don’t work that way.Because, well—there was an afterlife.And it was absolutely not what I wished for.

Every novel has a slag character, the one who decides to abandon the protagonist at his lowest, most helpless point, either because he can’t stand the poor guy’s circumstances or for other reasons. But after the protagonist wins his way in life again, they’re the ones who beg with broken sobs to be taken back.

Still, water once spilled can’t be recovered again.

Yet the unlucky Shen Jiayan has been bound to a Water Recovery* System to do just that.

*water recovery – comes from an idiom that means “spilled water can’t be recovered” (English equivalent: there’s no use crying over spilt milk).

- Description from Novelupdates

Spend life energy to infuse martial arts, and you can perform unlimited deductions.

Shen Yi’s mortal body only has a lifespan of less than a hundred years. Fortunately, he can gain his remaining lifespan by killing demons.

In the troubled times where evil spirits are everywhere, the long sword is revealed, causing the liver and gallbladder of these creatures who have lived for thousands of years to burst!

From [Eagle Claw Technique] to [Eight Desolations Splitting Heavenly Hands], from [Demon Subduing Fist] to [Golden Body Prison Suppressing Dharma Appearance]!

Shen Yi occasionally ponders, how come this lifespan is getting longer with more use?

He put the sword into its sheath, raised his eyes to the sky, and heard that there was a Jade Palace above the clouds. It was filled with thousands of saints, each of whom had experienced endless years.

This time I came to heaven just to borrow a million years from the immortals to prove my path to immortality.

- Description from novelbuddy

Bash, the Orc Warrior, is a Hero.

During the war, he crushed and defeated all that stood in his path. He is respected by all Orcs as the Orc among Orcs.

However, Bash has a secret.

He has no experience with women – he, the Hero, was a virgin.

For Orcs, who hold combat and sexual prowess in high regard, being a virgin was tremendously shameful.

[The fact that I’m a not only a virgin, but a virgin Orc Hero, is a shame for all of Orcish society. I want a wife too!]

With this in mind, he decides to embark on a journey.

In order to protect the pride and honor of his race, but mostly to finally get his d*ck wet, he decides to go to leave on a grand quest to find himself a woman.