I Swear I Don't Have A Python In My Pool - Chapter 9

I am the most talented guardian of this era!

But no one knows, I still have a second template, the knife cuts the flesh, the intention cuts the soul!

You may have seen the meatless juggernaut, but you have never seen a full-time meat shield with an explosive attack!

- Description from novelbuddy

This is a bizarre and mysterious world filled with various sinister cultivation methods. Once a person begins to cultivate, they will either undergo mild changes in appearance and temperament, descend into madness, or become a great elixir for evil beings to consume...Duan Yun, having transmigrated into this world, unexpectedly comes across a supreme elixir cultivation manual, the 'True Explanation of the Jade Sword.'To his surprise, he is a one-in-a-million cultivation genius who, unwittingly, transforms the manual into something extraordinary. Guided by the Jade Sword, he is able to pierce through everything.Later, as his mastery over various methods grows, Duan Yun, carrying the philosophy of 'the enlightened benefit the world,' never keeps secrets and spreads martial arts across the land.Who would have thought...“Duan the Demon misled me! He said this technique enhances yin and yang, but now I can only squat to pee, boo hoo...”“It was the Demon who taught me this 'Seven Parts Returning Qi'. Instead of blessing me, it brought disaster—I either get killed or step in dung. The fortune-teller said I've lost seventy percent of my luck.”“Don't trust a word of what Demon Duan says! The fairy of the Myriad Wonders Palace was supposed to ascend the whole palace to the heavens, but in one night, she was possessed and turned into a demoness, all due to that old demon Duan's handiwork!”...Duan Yun finds this incomprehensible. All he did was practice martial arts, spread techniques, and occasionally emulate the laws of nature, so how did he become notorious as a demon?This is slander!The same techniques cause no issues for me, so the problem lies with you all, not me!

When others pass through, they are either all-powerful or proud of their lives, but when it was her turn, Jiang Liuer turned into a calamity.

The declining family, the unassuming father, the nerdy sister, and the black-bellied boy who popped out of nowhere… all of them are her calamity.

Jiang Liu did not hesitate, twisted Jie into a fortune with his chubby hands, and lived happily ever after.

- Description from novelbuddy

The heavens and earth change when the blood phoenix descends.