A Pawn's Passage-Chapter 642: Mother and Son

Qi Xuansu pointed at the ancestral figures in the hall and asked, “What’s this for then?”

Madam Qi replied as if it were obvious, “Naturally, we’ve kept this to establish legitimacy—to prove that the Qingping Society has a proper foundation, unlike those fringe cults like the Lingshan Witch Cult, the Cult of Fates, or the Ziguang Society. This is the proof.”

Qi Xuansu asked again, “Who’s the current Head of Society?”

“It’s not the Earthly Preceptor,” Madam Qi said. “Although the Qingping Society was revived by the third-generation Earthly Preceptor, the Yao family hasn’t held power within the organization for a long time. Nowadays, the upper ranks are all outsiders. Of the six Privy Council members, I’m the only Yao.”

Qi Xuansu said pointedly, “One doesn’t need to be in the organization to hold power. If the Earthly Preceptor has an order, would the Qingping Society dare disobey?”

Madam Qi did not answer. Instead, she said, “The reason I’m telling you all this is so you understand one thing—the Qingping Society cannot remain aloof. It will inevitably be drawn into the conflict between the three Daoist sects. The only ones who can truly stay out of it are the Lingshan Witch Cults and the Cult of Fates. In fact, they’ll likely just watch from the sidelines and reap any benefits.”

Qi Xuansu asked, “What about the Ziguang Society? Are they friend or foe?”

“I don’t know,” Madam Qi replied with just three words.

Qi Xuansu only felt that the waters were growing increasingly murky.

The Taiping Sect and Quanzhen Sect had already entered the fray. The Ziguang Society, Qingping Society, Black Robes, Green Phoenix Guard, and the Xuanhui Court were all in play. However, it was beyond the Quanzhen Sect and the Qingping Society’s strength to oppose the combined forces of the Taiping Sect and the Imperial Court. Thus, the involvement of the Zhengyi Sect was only a matter of time.

As both a disciple of the Quanzhen Sect and a member of the Qingping Society, Qi Xuansu, whether willing or not, had no choice but to be involved in this game.

Moreover, everyone else had a way out, except Qi Xuansu.

Li Qingnu was from the Li family. Heavenly Fairy was royalty. Drunken Whip came from the Black Robes. Red Robes Lover had ties with the Ziguang Society. If things fell apart, they could all retreat to their alternate identities and save themselves.

However, Qi Xuansu had no such choice. No matter what identity he assumed, he would be going down with the ship. Even if he managed to survive, his future career would be gone. His only option was to wander around Jianghu with Madam Qi.

In that sense, Qi Xuansu was the very definition of an Earthly Preceptor loyalist. It was no wonder the Earthly Preceptor protected both him and Zhang Yuelu after the second Jiangnan case. Pulling in Zhang Yuelu was a political move, and shielding Qi Xuansu was personal.

At that thought, a feeling stirred in Qi Xuansu’s heart.

There was an old Confucian saying that the nation nurtured its scholars for centuries and decades so that they might die for its principles when the time came. That was exactly Qi Xuansu’s situation now. The Quanzhen Sect had supported him for the majority of his life. Now, it was time to lay down his life for them.

Qi Xuansu instinctively looked at Madam Qi.

He hoped this “nurturing of him” applied only to the Quanzhen Sect and not to the Yao family. More so, he hoped Madam Qi had nothing to do with any of this. He wished there were no other stakes between him and Madam Qi but pure gratitude.

Qi Xuansu did not mind being a pawn, but he did not want to be Madam Qi’s pawn. He hoped their bond was something more than that because he did not want to end up without a home again. He did not want their past bond to turn out to be nothing but an illusion.

Madam Qi sensed Qi Xuansu’s gaze and looked back at him. “Why are you staring at me like that?”

“Nothing,” Qi Xuansu said, his voice trembling slightly.

His emotions told him that Madam Qi was not that kind of person. But his rational mind said otherwise because he could not find an explanation that made sense.

Madam Qi suddenly said, “Qingnu, you can leave first. I have something to say to Tian Yuan.”

Li Qingnu looked at the two of them, catching a whiff of tension in the air. She responded with a simple nod and left the Dream Meeting without another word.

Only Madam Qi and Qi Xuansu remained. Neither of them spoke.

After a long time, Qi Xuansu finally asked hesitantly, “Madam Qi...why did you save me back then? Saving me is one thing, but why give me something as precious as the Longevity Stone Heart? I don’t have Yao Pei’s noble bloodline. I’m not descended from any Ancient Immortals. I’m just an orphan with no known parents.

“I’m also not some rare genius like Donghuang or the Holy Xuan. I’m not even fit to become a Qi Refiner, let alone a Banished Immortal. So I have no choice but to be a Rogue Cultivator. Out of the entire Wanxiang Daoist Lower Palace, I’m not even in the top few. I’m not particularly strong either. The first time I faced The Inn’s assassins, I panicked like a stray dog and scrambled to escape blindly. But I still got stabbed in the chest. Forget revenge or ambition. If it weren’t for you, I’d be long dead.

“Even if by some miracle I survived, I’d still be a nobody. Without you, I wouldn’t have made it into Tiangang Hall or met Zhang Yuelu. Without you, people like Pei Xiaolou, Lei Xiaohuan, Sage Donghua, Yao Pei, or the Three Yin Beings wouldn’t even look my way. I wouldn’t have the faintest connection to them. To me, they were unreachable stars in the sky. Even if I had stumbled upon the Xuan Jade, I wouldn’t have been able to merge with it without you, so I’d probably still be a lowly Kunlun-stage nobody. I wouldn’t need someone like Old Master Gao to take me down—his son’s attendant would have been more than enough to beat me senseless. Even Ke Qingqing, who is now at my beck and call, would’ve been the kind of girl I would never dare dream of approaching.

“Someone so insignificant and worthless like me is like a weed on the roadside. My death really wouldn’t matter at all. So what was it about me that caught your eye? What made you go to such great lengths to train me? All these years, you’ve taught me, supported me, promoted me, and treated me like your own son. Not even Li Qingnu, Heavenly Fairy, or Drunken Whip has received what I’ve received. Between us, things like merit and Taiping coin barely matter. I know I shouldn’t be asking this because ignorance is bliss. If you told me to die right now, I wouldn’t even flinch. If I kept asking for more, like affection or kinship, it would be nothing short of greedy. But I still can’t understand. Why?”

Even here in the Dream Meeting, Madam Qi still wore those oversized sunglasses that hid half her face.

After listening to Qi Xuansu’s monologue, Madam Qi fell silent for a moment and then removed the sunglasses from her face.

Qi Xuansu had seen her true face before, though only a few times. So seeing it now felt strangely unfamiliar.

Madam Qi was not wearing her usual playful smile. She looked unusually serious. That only made her seem even more unfamiliar to Qi Xuansu.

He suddenly felt a twinge of regret. I shouldn’t have said all that. Sometimes, it’s better to remain in blissful ignorance. Why dig deeper? Why am I not satisfied? Madam Qi has already given me so much, so why do I still expect familial affection? I’d gladly die for Madam Qi, since I was willing to die for Zhang Yuelu, anyway.

However, Qi Xuansu could not convince himself.

If he had never experienced that kind of feeling, it might have been fine. But having reached it once, he could not go back. Even if it had started as an act, he had fallen into the role, completely immersed. It was like two undercover agents posing as husband and wife to infiltrate an enemy stronghold. If they played the part long enough, it would start to feel real.

When Madam Qi first called herself his mother, Qi Xuansu did not take it seriously and still kept his distance. But over time, it became harder not to take it personally.

The more a person lacked something, the more they craved it.

Qi Xuansu lacked money, so he was obsessed with Taiping coins. He lacked status, so he could not pretend to be indifferent to fame or power. But what he lacked most was family and love.

Money and status could be earned, but family could not be begged for. Even if he became Grand Master, he could not conjure up a mother and father out of the blue. That was why Qi Xuansu’s feelings toward his master and Madam Qi were so tangled. Once he grasped it, he could not let go.

Qi Xuansu took a deep breath and looked at Madam Qi again.

Madam Qi said solemnly, “I had a son.”

Qi Xuansu froze. For a moment, he could not quite process what he had heard.

Madam Qi continued, “I’m not young anymore, so having a son isn’t exactly shocking, is it?”

Qi Xuansu nodded. He did not believe he was her son. If that were the case, she could have simply told him. There would be no need to keep it hidden, right?

Madam Qi continued, “He’s dead. I miss him terribly.”

Qi Xuansu blinked. “Madam Qi...do you think I remind you of your son? This isn’t one of those melodramatic plot twists, is it?”

Madam Qi scoffed mercilessly. “Not in the slightest! My son was handsome, brilliant, generous, and gracious—an outstanding man through and through, the kind of person even Li Changge isn’t worthy enough to wait on. How could YOU possibly resemble him?”

Qi Xuansu kept quiet. He just felt a little disappointed—and a little hurt.

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After a pause, Madam Qi added, “But when you were dying, the way you looked at me reminded me of him. Those tear-filled eyes were just like the ones he had before he died.”

Qi Xuansu could not tell whether she was telling the truth. His heart was a swirl of emotions.