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Days as a Spiritual Mentor in American Comics-Chapter 4425 - 3513: The Study of Cats and Dogs (24)
Chapter 4425 - 3513: The Study of Cats and Dogs (24)
Bruce was a bit bewildered. Weren't the two of them just getting along fine?
If they were going to fight, they would've fought already. Why do they have to do it right in front of everyone? Is this some sort of theatrical warning?
Clark suddenly seemed to realize something. He turned to Diana and said, "Turn off the TV, or mute it!"
Diana spun around, trying to grab the remote control, but Bruce had it clenched tightly in his hand. Clark turned his gaze to Bruce.
"No, why should I turn off the TV? I still want to watch the show! I promised him I'd watch it!"
Clark rubbed his temples in frustration. He realized it might be the Joker's laughter that was triggering Batman, but the bigger issue was: if Batman was the one being triggered, then why did Superman look like he was about to kill someone?
Luckily, the laughter seemed to just serve as a sound effect for the opening animation; it was only two chuckles before disappearing. Injustice Superman snapped out of it and used his laser vision to thaw out Injustice Batman.
Injustice Batman shook off the shards of ice on him, looking somewhat resigned. Injustice Superman, on the other hand, seemed a bit embarrassed. But clearly, it wasn't just Batman in this universe who didn't have a filter — explaining things was evidently a bit beyond him too.
Seeing the two of them heading for the living room and about to see the TV, Diana anxiously tried to snatch the remote out of Bruce's hand.
But she was no match for Bruce. Even with the Lasso of Truth in hand, Bruce flew straight behind the stove with a swift motion, giving her no chance to strike.
"Forget it," Clark said to Diana. "It's not like we forced them to come to our universe. Whatever happens to them is their own problem."
Bruce brandished the remote, deliberately turning the volume up a notch. As the Joker made his entrance, another burst of his signature laughter rang out. Bruce, standing by the stove, felt a chill down his spine.
Glancing over at Injustice Superman, the freezing breath was starting up again.
Injustice Batman also noticed the show playing on the TV.
In his many years of Batman experience, the guy standing center-stage wearing a red suit and Joker face paint was no comedy performer pretending to be the Joker — it was the Joker himself.
This scene was, in every way, closer to truly amusing Batman than any of the Joker's previous antics.
Unknown alien creatures were about to invade Earth, a riot had just occurred in Metropolis, and the Justice League's big three were gathered in the living room — watching TV.
And the TV program? Starring the Joker.
This world was officially insane.
Bruce evidently saw no problem with this. He sat right in front of the TV, holding a bucket of popcorn, entirely absorbed in watching the Joker's performance.
Clark and Diana came over as well, sitting on either side of him, one with chips, the other with a soda.
"Do you feel a bit chilly?" Bruce turned to Clark.
Clark dragged over a basket of charcoal from the side, added more to the stove, and said, "No worries, we'll just make the fire burn a little hotter."
Diana grabbed a blanket and tossed it on top of Bruce, saying, "You're too thin. When you don't have enough body fat, it's easier to feel cold."
Everyone tacitly ignored Injustice Superman, who was relentlessly exhaling frosty vapor.
Injustice Batman suddenly felt that the Justice League members in this universe had remarkably low emotional intelligence.
Though he didn't say a word, couldn't they ask at least *something*?
These three truly didn't ask. It was as if their butts were glued to the couch — sitting there, eating snacks when hungry, sipping soda when thirsty, throwing on a blanket when cold, without once considering solving the fundamental issue.
Injustice Superman stood there for a while before turning and leaving. Injustice Batman quickly stepped forward to stop him — if he went outside to vent his anger on the ordinary people of Metropolis, that'd be a disaster.
Just as they left the living room, a commotion came from the front hall. Injustice Batman grew wary, only to see Pamela rushing in, flustered.
As soon as she entered, her eyes lit up at the sight of Injustice Superman, as if seeing her savior.
"Superman? Help! SUPERMAN!!" Pamela shouted at him, "Breathe! Quickly, breathe this way!!!"
Before finishing her plea, she dove flat on the ground. Several black shadows "whizzed" through the corridor, aiming directly for Injustice Superman's face.
"Whoosh—"
With one frozen breath, the entire hallway was encased in ice. Pamela, now covered in frost, stood up, shaking off shards of ice and letting out a relieved sigh.
"Thank you so much; you're literally my lifesaver!"
Only then did Injustice Batman have the chance to look at the shadows — roughly half the height of a person, they resembled cacti. A primary trunk split into three segments, with two smaller human-like branches attached, frozen mid-punch in the air.
At this moment, Barry and Harley arrived chasing after them, followed by Kara trailing behind. All three were covered in frost, visibly a result of less-than-pinpoint freezing breath.
Barry's eyebrows had turned white from the cold, and he shivered with irritation as he said, "I *told* you to wait until reaching the lab to unpack, but you wouldn't listen! Would carrying it a little further have killed you?!"
"How was I supposed to know they'd break free?" Pamela retorted to Barry. "They walked just fine in the lab during testing. Blame the air composition in Metropolis being different from Gotham's!"
"You damned mad scientist..." Barry took a deep breath before concluding, "Forget it. Let's hurry and move them back to the lab while they're still frozen. I don't want to have to chase cacti again!"
"The other universes' Flash could've caught them all in a single second," Pamela muttered irritably as she began moving the cactus pots.
The first two pots weren't too bad, as vines helped her throw them out of the way. As Pamela moved toward the pot closest to Injustice Superman, a laser beam suddenly shot out.
Pamela flinched and ducked, only to see the laser hit the cactus pot right in front of her.
"No!!!!"
She screamed. Batman thought she was mourning her research results, but as the laser shattered the ice layer, the freed cactus hit the ground, sprung high into the air, and punched Injustice Superman square in the face.
Of course, a mere cactus couldn't possibly injure a Kryptonian. The problem was that this plant *splashed* as it struck.
When the cactus arm shattered on impact, its spines scattered like shrapnel from a grenade.
Half of those spines landed on Injustice Batman, who hadn't dodged in time, instantly making him look like a porcupine.
Ten minutes later, seated on the couch, Injustice Superman helped remove the spines from Injustice Batman while listening to Oliver scold Pamela.
"I swear, they're controllable; they just need some time to adapt to Metropolis' environment," Pamela vowed emphatically. "They'll be the most powerful weapons against the aliens, trust me!"
Harley and Barry both let out long sighs. Barry turned around to see Bruce heading out, and quickly called after him, "Where are you going, Bruce?"
"The lab. I just got a great idea for building a cellphone, and I haven't had time to work on it," Bruce replied as he left. Barry stared at his retreating back for a moment before shaking his head.
Half of Injustice Batman's suit had already been perforated. He finally pulled an arm out of the damaged uniform and carefully inspected the torn fabric.
Gazing at the densely packed holes, Injustice Batman seemed to understand why this universe's Justice League members were so united.
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In his universe, Poison Ivy had spent decades causing havoc in Gotham, never managing to harm Batman's body as much as three seconds in this universe with Pamela had achieved.
Injustice Batman's suit was still high-tech, made with specialized fibers. It could withstand Superman's laser vision for a few seconds before burning through, let alone against cactus spines.
This pointed to two possibilities: either this thing wasn't a cactus, or those weren't ordinary spines.
Even worse, the spines were toxic. Within ten seconds of being pricked, Injustice Batman felt like he was choking. If Pamela hadn't promptly given him an antidote, his feud with Superman would've ended right there.
The Poison Ivy in their universe poisoned people through kisses, which seemed undeniably uncreative now. But honestly, who came up with the idea of a cactus?
Injustice Superman also looked exasperated. Although the cactus couldn't harm him, just the notion of being punched in the face by a cactus was enough to ruin his image as an Earth-ruling tyrant.
Oddly enough, this incident eased the tension between him and Injustice Batman. They now had a new group to join — "The Vicious Plant Victims' Alliance."
The alliance had more members than both the Justice League and Injustice League combined. Its members not only had astonishingly high average intelligence but were also exceptionally dangerous. Even Brand had once taken a punch from an Attacking Cabbage. If not for Lucifer's ability to fly, he wouldn't have escaped either.
In the lab, Barry helped Pamela move the largest cactus onto the workbench. Dusting off his hands, he said, "You *must* keep an eye on them. If they escape again, I won't be chasing them down anymore..."
Before he could finish, his phone rang. Waving Pamela off, he stepped outside to take the call.
"Hello? Yes, we just arrived. As expected, Pamela's plants have run off again... Got it, Professor. I'll check it out."
Without ending the call, he left in a flash of golden light, appearing near the Luthor Group Building. "It seems like everything's fine here, Professor. Looks like everyone's left for the day. Okay, I'll fetch it now."
Inside a brightly lit restaurant, Shiller carried a wine glass, heading toward the back door. Gotham's autumn nights were cool, the breeze dispersing the scent of wine.
Lighting a cigar, its faint glow mingled with a burst of golden light. Upon seeing Barry approach, Shiller placed the cigar on the windowsill and waved away the smoke.
"Good evening, Professor. Nothing major, just some minor chaos caused by an alternate universe Superman in Metropolis."
Shiller nodded, then retrieved an umbrella from beside the door and handed it to Barry, saying, "The formulas on this umbrella can indiscriminately control all intelligent beings, including psychics and aliens. Take it to Lex; he'll know what to do."
Barry nodded, took the umbrella from Shiller, gave him a quick smile, then turned to leave.