Eighteen's Bed-Chapter 23.1

Kang Suhyeon closed his eyes as if he were the one experiencing it, rubbing his body with both hands. The sight was so disgusting, I felt like I might throw up. I turned my eyes away and threw my pen onto the desk. But Kang Suhyeon’s performance didn’t stop despite my obvious condemnation.

“Oh my God, babe! When did you prepare all this? Then the man says: I hurried up when you went to the bathroom to get this ready. I was so exhausted, I thought I was gonna die.”

“Wait, how did you have time to go all the way up to the hotel and set up candles in just a few minutes?”

“Shh, it’s literary license.”

“….”

“The professor is a very progressive person. He doesn’t want the rigid reports based on statistics, okay? He’ll be expecting a romantic and fun plan. But does romantic mean something bad?”

“Are you even in the sciences?”

“Is there a rule that romance doesn’t belong in the sciences? Have you called the police? Have you sued anyone?”

Kang Suhyeon talking about romance? Why? How? What’s the reasoning behind this? The fact that the term “romantic” popped up in a “Sex and Gender” assignment and his utter misunderstanding of everything was so incomprehensible—more confusing than Go Yohan’s logic. I pressed the tip of my pen in the middle of my lips, making a disgusted face. Realizing my discomfort, Kang Suhyeon suddenly shifted his hips in a spasmodic motion.

“My mom once told me I’d go crazy over my wife after marriage and ditch her to the side!”

“Ah, right.”

Oh, now I understand why Ahn Ji-Soo dropped the class before even attending. He must’ve thought there was no answer in this class after seeing Kang Suhyeon. After seeing his midterm presentation, I should have just asked him to add an effect for flying away or something. The class on “Gender and Marriage,” which I had only signed up for because the schedule fit, was going to end badly, and I could already feel the ominous premonition of failure.

“It’s good that you worked hard to pick a topic, but…”

I sighed deeply, pressing my fingers into my eyebrows. One semester was ruined, and I couldn’t let the second one be wasted too. I picked up my pen again and pointed at the words “First Night” written by Kang Suhyeon on the scrap paper.

“Let’s think realistically. A couple who’s been dating for two years would not have sex even once? That doesn’t make sense.”

“Why not?”

“Even if they don’t plan on getting married, it would usually happen within 24 hours or at most three months.”

This was the result of my own calculations based on those around me. I thought it was pretty solid. The reaction from Kang Suhyeon was strangely exaggerated as if he couldn’t believe it.

“R-Really?”

“Yep.”

“Everyone does that when they date? Only a day?”

“Yep.”

Before I could finish my sentence, I froze. Kang Suhyeon’s cheeks had visibly turned bright red. His face, which usually looked so rough, now had flushed cheeks that looked like ripe apples—an uncomfortably awkward sight. It wasn’t something you wanted to look at. The guy who had been covering his mouth with both hands, staring at me with a sly look, casually dragged out his words.

“Why, how do you know that?”

“…”

“Have you dated before?”

Well, what else would I know? All those guys at the back of the classroom are saying the same things. But now, I couldn’t shake off the suspicion that Kang Suhyeon really didn’t know this. A guy like him, surely he’d know, right? His reaction was so incomprehensible that I didn’t even answer and just deepened my frown. Kang Suhyeon misinterpreted my silence.

“You bastard, you’ve dated a lot, huh?”

Suddenly, his hands trembled, covering his face in disbelief. It really pissed me off.

“No.”

“When you were in high school, with all the girls… You didn’t even study properly…”

“No.”

Kang Suhyeon just listened to whatever he wanted to hear and raised his cheeks in a strange smile. He was so delighted it was almost visible in his flaring nostrils. Eventually, he even placed his feet on the chair and hugged his knees. It was an incredibly uncomfortable sight. As he shook his body, he kept that hideous grin and cautiously brought his face closer.

“Then, give me your expert opinion.”

“…What?”

“As an expert, tell me. What should I prepare for the first night?”

The expectation directed at me sparkled, and it was frankly burdensome. I couldn’t hide my disgusted expression and pushed Kang Suhyeon’s face away with the palm of my hand. His face squished up, but he shoved it forward like a bulldozer, and the grease on his skin made me feel so repulsed I almost ran to the bathroom.

“Please, don’t put your face so close. Please.”

“Hmm? Tell me. Huh?”

“Ugh…”

The exaggerated charm made me gag involuntarily. If I didn’t throw something at him, he was going to keep pushing his face at me. I had no choice but to give in. I leaned back as far as I could, distancing myself from Kang Suhyeon, and gave him the most plausible answer I could muster. I exhaled, as if he were a joke.

“...First, you should probably prepare a condom.”

At least that’s how it was around me. Of course, it wasn’t out of any awareness of healthy sex life. The real reason I carried condoms was because of some superstitious myth that carrying them would bring good fortune. Good fortune was an excuse, though; those assholes wanted to project the confidence of being “a man who could use a condom at any time.” Pathetic guys. I couldn’t help but scowl. But Kang Suhyeon’s reaction was even more disgusting.

“Oh my god, c-c-c...!”

A hand, as big as a pot lid, suddenly slapped my back hard. I jumped in surprise at the sudden palm on my back, and when I turned to look, Kang Suhyeon, who had been shaking his feet in his chair, was blushing and scolding me quietly.

“How can you say that in front of others? This is a classroom! You... you shameless... scoundrel!”

“Ah, ahh.”

The punch hitting my shoulder made my body sway. I couldn’t even think about dodging it; I was too stunned to do anything but exhale in disbelief. After hitting me a few more times, Kang Suhyeon cautiously looked around and continued, his gaze uneasy.

“Ugh, you really sounded like a pervert just now.”

“What’s wrong with condoms, ugh!”

He suddenly shoved my shoulder again with his fist, and I bit my tongue. A sharp taste of blood spread, and a stinging sensation bloomed around my eyes. The pain in my tongue made me writhe, cursing hundreds of times under my breath. If I still associate with Kang Suhyeon after this class, I won’t be human. Kang Suhyeon, still with a flushed face, spoke.

“Hey, let’s do this.”

“What?”

“You’re the experienced one, so you’d know the real problems that come up when you’re executing a plan, right?”

“I’m not experienced…”

I was about to snap back but hesitated and stopped myself. Why the hell would I tell this guy that I didn’t have experience? It would be embarrassing to admit that I was ignorant about sex. The rush of embarrassment made me frown, pressing my eyebrows together, and Kang Suhyeon seized the moment to keep talking.

“So, let’s do it fairly. You execute the plan I came up with and correct it as we go.”

“What are you talking about?”

I stuck out my tongue slightly and took a deep breath, glaring at Kang Suhyeon as he said such absurd things.

“Are you crazy? Why would I do something like that?”

“But I don’t have a girlfriend.”

“Do I?”

“Don’t pretend like you don’t. You popular guy. You and I are different. My school had such strict surveillance. Even if I just looked at a girl, I’d get demerits, you know?”

I scratched my temple with my pen. Now that I think about it, Kang Suhyeon went to quite a famous high school. It was a private school that anyone would recognize just by name. Quite surprising.

“I went to an all-boys school.”

“So what? Look at the soldiers. Even in the army, they’re dragging themselves to blind dates and dating during their leave. Don’t you know that?”

“Then why couldn’t you? You must’ve dated during the holidays. Your school was co-ed, right?”

“You little prick.”

His angry glare shot at me like a dart for something I’d casually said.

“Why do you have to reveal the truth so... openly?”

Kang Suhyeon’s voice shook violently. His voice, full of unshed tears, trembled with an oddly guilt-inducing effect. I turned my head slightly and coughed awkwardly.

“And you said you’re rich, right? Your family owns all the land around Cheongsong, and you came to Seoul for studies as a local elite. So you should be able to easily book an expensive hotel, right?”

“Ah, we don’t own an apple farm, okay?”

“Then what was that thing with the apples? What was that ‘honey apple’ business?”

“That…”

How could I explain what Go Yohan did? But for some reason, from that point on, I had become the heir of an elite family in Cheongsong.

“You know, I also know that you’ve been ignoring all the messages from Park So-yeon, right? Be careful.”

I didn’t respond this time. It didn’t even require an explanation. I was deliberately ignoring her, and I had no intention of talking to someone who had no interest in me and wouldn’t be helpful. Especially if they were eyeing something that belonged to me.

“Do you know how much I’ve been cursed at by So-yeon? After the meeting, I got all kinds of insults for disappearing without a word. Even though I told them a million times I didn’t know your number, they wouldn’t believe me. I had to buy her a few meals in return. Now I’m broke, living off packed lunches.”

“Ah.”

“Ah? Aah?”

Kang Suhyeon looked at me as if I were a traitor. Actually, I’d been losing weight lately. When I ran into him during class, I’d said those words about needing to dip my rice in soy sauce, and I now realized that those words weren’t just said lightly.

“You even ignored Gah-hee’s calls.”

“Gah-hee? Oh, her…”

“Oh, ‘her?’ You’re really a bad guy, aren’t you? Acting like you’re going to date someone, then ignoring their calls?”

But what does that have to do with me? Whether Kang Suhyeon is dying or Park So-yeon is upset that she got ignored, I didn’t care in the slightest.

“Did I do anything with her?”

I’d just been kind to build a network for appearances. I frowned, and though I pressed my finger to smooth it out, I couldn’t help but mutter, “Damn it. Recently, I’ve been mimicking Go Yohan’s habits too much.”

“The man’s enemy.”

Kang Suhyeon, with a voice full of resentment, muttered, and without leaving room for interruption, made an empty assumption.

“It’s obvious. Even if you don’t have a girlfriend, you must have some ‘in-between’ relationships. You’re a playboy. You act like you’re about to date someone, but not quite—know what I mean? For our assignment, you know?”

“I don’t know.”

“Huh? You don’t know? You’re about to look up Gah-hee’s number right now, aren’t you? Huh? Moving your fingers all randomly?”

I really didn’t like the sight of him tapping the broken screen with his thumbs. I gave him a thin-eyed stare and got up, gathering my bag.

“Really, there’s nothing else, so think of another plan. I’m going.”

“Eh? Where are you going?”

“Do whatever you want.”

At my words, Kang Suhyeon pouted his lips. It was so annoyingly childish that I couldn’t help but lightly push the shoulder in front of me with my fist. It wasn’t a hard push, but he staggered with a shocked look on his face and let out a loud scream. I clicked my tongue, looking down at him as he hung from the chair, not forgetting to shake my head.

“Just don’t contact me personally.”

At my warning, Kang Suhyeon fidgeted with a dumbfounded expression, then suddenly jumped up and brought the tips of his two index fingers together. It looked quite imposing. But since I couldn’t understand what the hell he was trying to do with those two fingers connected in front of my eyes, I just shot him a pitying look and walked out of the classroom.

As I walked down the empty hallway, my mind gradually settled. The lingering aftertaste of the conversation with Kang Suhyeon clung to my back and wouldn’t let go. The words that climbed up my back, crawled into my ears, and entered my inner self echoed quietly in the silent hallway like a reverberating echo.

‘You don’t have a girlfriend, but you must have some people who are just under that level. It’s like you’re almost dating, but not quite… you know what I mean?’

Complete nonsense.

“I don’t… have anything like that…”

The vibration in my coat pocket rang. I hastily cut off my thoughts and took my phone out of my pocket. A strange number appeared under Go Yohan’s name.

It was Go Yohan’s number, the one he had forced me to save after the incident a few days ago when he had caused trouble and desperately changed his number. I still vividly remember his frustrated expression as he complained, saying that he didn’t know any of those assholes.

‘Are those guys your friends? I don’t know them. They just come up to me and act like they know me, acting all familiar. I don’t know where they heard about me. Honestly, I don’t even know their names or remember their faces.’

It was absurd that he complained about something others would envy.

“Where did I… do something like that…”

The message that came through left me speechless.

‘Professor is off somewhere, no sense of time. Go have a coffee or something.’

Along with the message, there was a coffee and cake exchange coupon that looked like it had just been bought on an app.

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‘I sent you two cakes to fatten you up, so don’t give them to anyone else, eat them all yourself.’

And then came the next message, which rendered me speechless.

‘No screenshots.’

‘No Kang Suhyeon.’

****

Unfortunately, I’ve always had a small appetite. To be exact, I don’t like the feeling of being full. I dislike the feeling of my energy gathering upward, making my head dull. So, I always ate just enough to feel satisfied, which usually meant one slice of cake.

It was with dissatisfaction that I looked down at it, and that’s when Go Yohan showed up after the major lecture had ended. His eyes, which already looked gloomy and aggressive, chilled as they settled on my face. He didn’t look happy.

“I told you to eat it all.”

“I did eat a piece. I’m going to eat a meal, what happens if I eat two pieces?”

“Eat the pineapple. If you eat the pineapple, you’ll get hungry again.”

“Where did you hear that?”

Go Yohan, holding nothing but a worn pen and two sheets of scrap paper, looked ridiculous. I gave him an irritated glance as he fidgeted with the things in his hand.

“Is that all your stuff?”

“Yeah.”

“Then how did you attend class?”

At my question, Go Yohan shook the scrap paper in the air. The pen that was also shaking had this written on it: ‘Once a Marine, always a Marine.’ Ah, the terrible sight of it made me squint my eyes tightly.

“Why are you acting like you saw something you shouldn’t have?”

“Don’t you have a textbook?”

Flick, flick. Instead of the eyes that were tightly shut, my ears, now more sensitive, caught the sound of paper fluttering. Go Yohan shook the scrap paper again with shamelessness.

“This is enough.”

“You… seriously. And where did you even get such a strange pen?”

“I don’t know. It was lying around the classroom floor.”

“Why pick it up?”

“Why? Obviously, I was going to use it.”

“Once a Marine, always a Marine,” huh. The symbol of strong will, held by the fake American who’ll never join the military, looked pitiful in his hand. Do Marines nowadays just roll around on the floor and share pens with strangers?

While I was shivering, slowly lifting my eyelids, Go Yohan pulled the chair next to me and sat down. At the same time, his scent lightly spread around. I unconsciously took a deep breath. As the subtle scent began to soak into my head, I fought the rising feeling of being drunk and opened my mouth.

“… You must’ve had something you wanted to use.”

“I didn’t. I just brought my phone and card.”

“Your wallet?”

“Wallet too.”

“Why didn’t you bring anything?”

“Why do you think?”

Go Yohan took the fork that was resting between my fingers. Then, he poked the last remaining piece of sponge cake with it, gently placed it in his mouth, and smiled as he spoke.

“You’re trying to talk to me and borrow stuff from me under some excuse, right?”

Once again, his mouth stretched into a wide grin as he laughed refreshingly. I lightly clenched and opened my hand, which I had hidden under the table. Throwing the fork on the plate, Go Yohan lightly stretched his fingers and silently stared at his three slightly bent right fingers as he spoke.

“Borrowing pens, borrowing forks, borrowing bodies, every night holding hands….”

The hand that held the transparent cylinder-shaped object swayed up and down.

“And then….”

Hey…! Horror surged up inside me. But unlike the shock in my mind, my outward expression remained nearly blank as I pressed his suspicious hand gestures down with my palm. Ignoring his subtle caress of my palm with his fingers as our skin touched, I just stared at him silently.

Go Yohan, leaning his arm on the table, spoke with a mocking tone.

“No, honestly, the one who borrowed the hand back then was me, right? You were just spreading your fingers. It’s a little unfair.”

“Shut up…”

Is he really crazy? I gritted my teeth and quietly warned him.

“I’ll shut up. But I have to say this one thing because it’s unfair.”

Saying he’d shut up, Go Yohan brought his mouth close to my ear. It was such a sudden move. I was so shocked that I couldn’t hide my expression this time. I tried to turn my head to avoid the heat coming from him, but his hand holding my chin was already there.

“Let go.”

“No.”