Eighteen's Bed-Chapter 26.3

“I speed-walked. Speed-walked.”

“…Sorry about not texting. I didn’t want to disturb your class.”

“Fuck, just do it. The class is already disturbing my life. It was so goddamn boring that I felt like jumping out the window and killing myself. At least then, the professor’s career would take a nosedive.”

“What did the professor do wrong?”

“I’m saying you should just text me whenever the hell you want. From now on, I expect a message confirming every single thing you do.”

His words carried a subtle coercion. What was I, and what was Go Yohan, that I had to get my schedule approved by him? But knowing that he had spent so much time wandering around campus looking for me, that he had even rushed over here just to see me, I couldn’t bring myself to refuse.

Why am I so weak when it comes to the person I like? The rewards were great, but the price to pay was just as heavy.

No, I should think of it positively. Keeping each other updated would make things easier for both of us. It wasn’t weird. Besides, I heard that’s what, um… couples do. Ahem. I coughed awkwardly and pressed down on my lips, which were threatening to curl up.

“If there’s a change in my schedule, I’ll check immediately and report back without delay.”

“Listen to you. What am I, some corporate executive receiving reports?”

“If my schedule changes, I’ll let you know right away.”

“I don’t see much of a difference, but whatever.”

Go Yohan smirked at me. It wasn’t a smirk meant to mock—it was the kind that made people giddy.

I couldn’t believe a smirk like that existed. Even as I thought about it, it was absurd, but Go Yohan had this way of carrying himself that made it feel natural for him to possess things that shouldn’t exist in this world. That smirk was one of them.

Every time I saw Go Yohan grin with his canines exposed, my solar plexus ached. It felt like I was about to get indigestion. Unconsciously avoiding his gaze, I blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

“Did I make you wait long?”

“Not really.”

I had expected him to say something like, “I was standing there like a stone statue,” or, “I wandered around so much my legs nearly gave out.” But suddenly, he was acting indifferent like it was no big deal. That made my chest tighten even more.

The stupidly mismatched emoji he had sent earlier floated around in my head, haunting me. Why was Go Yohan so adorable? Why did he make me so weak? I wasn’t someone who usually said things like this. It felt like my heart was being wrung out in someone’s grip. I scratched the center of my chest with my finger.

A brief glance showed Go Yohan flinching slightly as his three damaged fingers brushed against me.

“…Sorry.”

What the hell was I doing to someone who was already in pain? But what made me want to die even more was the way my body reacted—when I saw his fingers, my stomach clenched, but lower. I really was insane.

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“Are you really sorry?”

“…Yeah.”

I really should be. Go Yohan would never know just how much of a piece of shit I was. And yet, even with those thoughts in my head, another part of me desperately wanted to hide my filthy, impure feelings. I lifted my head with feigned composure, squared my shoulders—though I still couldn’t meet his eyes.

While I was busy pretending to be unaffected, Go Yohan moved. His slow, heavy footsteps closed the distance between us, and I pressed my palm against my tightening stomach.

Every time his large hand got closer, I could smell that scent—his scent. The scent that made me feel intoxicated. I pushed down hard on my skin, trying to suppress the turmoil inside, but the scent swirled through my head.

Then, with deliberate playfulness, his soft thumb flicked my cheek.

“Juni, you’re so sweet.”

“Stop. Don’t mess up my hair.”

“Saying that just makes me want to mess with you more.”

The one doing the tormenting always enjoys it more than the one being tormented.

Out of nowhere, a younger Go Yohan’s voice echoed in my ears. I shook my head in an attempt to clear it and twisted away from his touch. Unfortunately, my hair was already a disaster.

“Juna, why do I always want to tease you when I see you?”

“I don’t like it. Stop.”

“That’s weird, isn’t it? Whenever I look at you, I just… I feel this urge to hurt you. To break you, ruin you. Isn’t that strange?”

“Please, don’t say things you don’t even mean.”

“…”

Despite my protest, Go Yohan kept running his fingers through my hair. His index fingers trailed along my scalp before suddenly grabbing my ear.

Instantly, my entire body froze. My eyes widened as I stared at him.

“If you’re really sorry, there’s a way you can atone for your sins.”

Oh, look at him. He sounds exactly like a religious fanatic. And this is coming from someone who believes in a damn cult.

“…What is it?”

“Come on now, let’s.”

Go Yohan smirked. His words were so blatantly suggestive that my body froze in place from sheer shock. He blinked slowly, as if urging me forward.

Go Yohan’s libido had been growing unchecked. I had always known he was a sex-crazed bastard, but I never expected it to swell to this extent. And yet, his words squeezed my heart, sent heat pooling low in my stomach. At least I had an excuse—guilt. A very convincing justification.

I scratched the area near my collarbone before tilting my chin downward.

“…Fine.”

At my answer, Go Yohan beamed. Then, without warning, he cupped both my cheeks with his palms.

“Your face is all puffy today. Look at your eyelids, your double eyelids got thicker. Twice as thick.”

“What? Wait a minute—”

Shit. I quickly raised my hands to cover my eyes.

…Or at least, I tried.

Go Yohan pressed his lips against mine, pushing down on my already squashed lips. Holy—! I barely had time to register the sudden kiss before I instinctively parted my lips in shock. And that was all the opening he needed. His thick tongue slid into my mouth, licking the inside of my lips before withdrawing as swiftly as it had entered. It lasted only a fleeting moment.

But the thick, scorching heat still lingered inside my mouth. His hands, gripping my cheeks, felt like they were on the verge of crushing my face. Licking his lips, Go Yohan grinned in satisfaction before asking,

“Are you gonna take a shower?”

“O-of course I am!”

“You can’t.”

His fingers, which had been messing up my hair, suddenly gripped a fistful and gave it a light tug. It didn’t hurt, but the gesture carried all the underlying sadism that I knew so well. I said nothing, only because I knew I had done something wrong.

“Today, we’re taking a bath.”

“What? My room doesn’t have a bathtub.”

“Didn’t you understand me? I said you’re washing up in my bathroom.”

Go Yohan’s short, clean-cut nails scraped up the length of my neck from below. The sharp pain was immediately followed by a sensation I couldn’t quite describe—somewhere between a tingling thrill and an electric chill. There was no way out of this.

****

How the hell did I end up taking a bath? And in his bathroom, no less.

A droplet from the faucet dripped into the filled tub. Plop. The unexpectedly clear sound rang through the bathroom.

I had to admit, it felt nice. It had been a while since I last took a proper bath. My aching body was finally loosening up.

If I’d known this would happen, I should’ve taken Go Yohan’s room for myself. I was too focused on having an ensuite bathroom when I chose mine, but now I was regretting it. Maybe I should ask to switch.

I scooped up a handful of hot water and splashed it onto my face. Then, shifting my position, I flipped onto my stomach and submerged my face into the water.

The sound of bubbling filled my ears, followed by the dull pressure of water blocking them. When the lack of air started to get uncomfortable, I lifted my head. A rush of air burst through my parted lips.

My stomach, pressed against the bottom of the tub, was flat—so flat it looked hollowed out. That’s what happens when you skip dinner.

I hadn’t eaten a proper meal. I wasn’t in the mood, and by the time I got home, it was nearly 9 PM.

Go Yohan, on the other hand, had marched straight into the house, grabbed an overripe banana from the table, and started devouring it. I wasn’t sure how many days it had been sitting there. Watching him chomp away at it made me nervous.

Apparently starving, Go Yohan licked the banana residue off his fingers, sucking on them one by one. The sight was so unbearably suggestive that I couldn’t even look.

"Doesn’t it taste weird?"

"No idea. I’m so hungry I can’t taste anything."

"Don’t eat it. That thing’s old."

"As long as it doesn’t kill me, it’s fine."

With that, he slid his thumb out of his mouth and locked eyes with me. His stare was heavy, deliberate.

And just like that, I lost all appetite and bolted for the bathroom. I threw out a weak excuse—I’ll shower before eating—and ran.

Floating in the bath, I recalled an unfinished note about Go Yohan I hadn’t yet written in my phone.

➂ He is an extremely picky eater_

But was he really? He acted like he hated side dishes, yet he had no problem eating a rotting banana.

And then came the real question—what food could he genuinely not eat? What did he actually like?

For one, he liked sausages. Strangely enough, his lips always twitched in the slightest smile whenever he saw them.

As for the things I assumed he hated—green vegetables, tofu, pork marinated in gochujang, bad-quality beef, fish cutlets, braised pollack.

Which ones were true dislikes, and which ones were just him being dramatic? I still didn’t know.

And then there were the foods I was uncertain about—seafood, specifically shellfish.

I was willing to bet that he actually liked it. Still, just in case, I had asked the housekeeper not to prepare any dishes with shellfish.

"What even is Go Yohan, really?"

I blew at the water’s surface, sending tiny bubbles skittering in all directions.

At this point, I should’ve already drained the tub and gotten out. My fingertips had long since pruned. I had stayed in the water too long.

But I still hadn’t moved.

My anxious eyes kept darting to the tightly shut bathroom door.

I turned my gaze away, instead focusing on the enormous full-length mirror on the wall. My vision was slightly blurry, but I could still make out my reflection.

"I look like a goddamn mess."

"Still haven’t taken that down?"

I barely ever come into this bathroom, so I keep forgetting about that monstrosity.

Honestly, the moment I stepped inside and saw that mirror, I regretted my choices. I was filled with despair. Seriously, why the hell hasn’t Go Yohan gotten rid of that thing? Every time he washes up, doesn’t he see his naked body in full view? Or does he actually enjoy looking at himself? Has he lost his mind?

…Then again, I kind of get it.

Go Yohan might not realize it because he’s used to it, but he was blessed. Tall with broad shoulders, muscles that appear with just a little exercise, a long neck, an Adam’s apple that looks like he swallowed a chunk of an apple, and even a deep voice. His whole vibe practically dripped testosterone, yet his face remained delicate.

Go Yohan didn’t have a particularly rough-looking face, either. But sometimes, when he stared at me in silence, I’d get the unsettling feeling that he was glaring at me like he wanted me dead. Even knowing that was just his neutral expression, it still put me on edge. To make matters worse, he was tall as hell and built like a tank, which only made him feel twice as intimidating.

If I had been born as Go Yohan, I’d spend all day just looking at myself in the mirror.

But what about me?

I pulled my arm out of the water. My pathetic-looking forearm came into view. I shouldn’t have looked. Shit. Why do I look so unimpressive? I mean, it’s not like I have no muscles at all. It’s not like I’m frail or weak. I eat well, I live well. I’ve never been sick a day in my life. I’m perfectly healthy.

“…Maybe I should’ve just eaten dinner.”

It’s all because of this damn small mouth. Yeah, that’s the reason. That’s why I never got taller. That’s why I never gained any weight.

I slapped my annoying mouth with my palm. Looking at my underwhelming body made me want to crawl into a hole, so I shoved my face back under the bathwater. It wasn’t just my height that had been a problem. And the fact that my face always burned whenever the topic of height came up was a pathetic little secret of mine.

My height was one centimeter taller at dawn than at any other time of the day. So, I just decided that my height would be that one extra centimeter. I never lied. Never lied.

But Go Yohan? He lowered his own height. That asshole’s actually 192 cm, but he always rounds it down when he tells people.

How infuriating.

I slapped the water’s surface out of spite.

That should be enough washing up. The aching I’d felt all morning had mostly gone away. My recovery was always ridiculously fast.

I got up to let out the now-cooling water. I only needed to reach out and unplug the drain—easy. But I failed. Because the bathroom door suddenly swung open.

In my rush to cover myself, I sat back down so fast I smacked my ass hard against the bottom of the tub. In the middle of my panicked flailing, the back of my head slipped under, and my bare legs thrashed over the edge.

The only reason I managed to get out of the tub was because of the firm grip yanking me up. My torso jerked upright as I gasped for air, and the water I’d inhaled came gushing out as I coughed.

“Kehh!—Hahh, koff!”

I flailed, blindly grabbing onto whatever was within reach as I spat out the burning water from my nose and throat. Once my coughing settled, I finally realized what I was touching.

Thin fabric.

Fabric? In the bathroom?

I lifted my stinging, bloodshot eyes.

Go Yohan stood there. Fully dressed. His hair was wet, meaning he must have showered in my room.

And Go Yohan was, as usual, looking down at me like I was a complete idiot.

"You trying to crack your skull open and die?"

“No! You— hic—you came in all of a sud— cough—denly—!”

“Your skin’s all red.”

He wasn’t even listening.

Go Yohan lightly ran a finger down my back. Then he brushed along my spine and shoulder blades before frowning in dissatisfaction.

"Gah—ahem—Why’d you come in all of a sudden?”

“You were in there too long. Thought you might’ve drowned.”

"Ow. Ah, ow—stop."

Go Yohan’s fingers pressed under my shoulder blades. I twisted away at the weird sensation, but then it hit me—I was naked. I hurriedly clamped my legs together.

What the hell was he looking for?

Go Yohan grabbed my arm and ran his hand down it—hard. Then he finally let go and, for some reason, checked my wrist, too, as if confirming something.

“…Didn’t think you’d actually almost die.”

“What? That’s your fault.”

"Why?"

"You barged in while I was washing up!"

"So, would our precious Junie topple over like this every time someone walked into a public bath?"

"I’ve never been to one."

"You're not hurt anywhere?"

That was surprisingly considerate, coming from someone who usually ignored what I said. My irritation immediately melted away.

I avoided looking at his hand, which had somehow ended up entwining his fingers with mine while he ran his hand over my body. He opened his palm, placed mine over it, and then stacked his hand over mine again.

I really was hopeless.

Thinking back, Go Yohan had never once apologized to me. But I understood, because he had chosen to pay for his crimes in his own way. That was just the way my love worked. And I had no complaints about my decision now.

I was always like this. As soon as someone who had shaken me to my core looked at me with the slightest bit of affection, I wagged my tail like a dumb dog.

It was kind of funny—how my quiet personality and the way I loved people were so utterly incompatible.

I focused on the way Go Yohan rubbed my hand between his palms. I licked my dry lips and forced myself to speak as if nothing was wrong. Even though I made no effort to pull my hand away.

“My ass kinda hurts, but I didn’t fall that hard. I’m fine.”

"Oh no, is it sore? You want big bro to blow on it?"

"……."

"You want hyung to make it better?"

"'Hyung,' my ass."