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Eighteen's Bed-Chapter 28.7
I glanced sideways at Go Yohan, catching his eyes again as he smiled awkwardly. Sometimes, I have moments of madness, independent of time or space. Just like now.
"You."
Yet, there are moments too lovely to simply pass by, especially when Go Yohan looks too adorable. To me, who has become vulnerable to him in my life, these moments inevitably arise. They're beyond my control.
Moreover, this irresistible force often leads me to the strangest of times. That's why those who frequented brothels or stirred up trouble were seen as fools. Those already saturated with stimuli really don't understand truly erotic moments. It's not porn or sex that drives people mad. It's the foreplay that happens before porn and sex begins. The mental arousal.
"..."
"..."
Go Yohan's fingers lightly tapped the steering wheel. Ignoring my plea to not look at me, this time, he gazed out of the opposite window without being asked. The only sounds in the quiet atmosphere were the slight noises we made each time we touched the intact body of the car.
"Jun."
"...Yeah."
I stroked the pebbled surface of the leather with the blunt part of my fingers. I called out, and he responded, but our conversation didn't continue. Then, a slightly heavy sound thudded against the car window. A drop of water crashed onto the glass, creating a crown-shaped spread.
I slid my hand from the leather seat, then caressed the collar of my coat. Though I was moving my body, it felt strangely as if I wasn't controlling the movements.
Thud, thud. Heavy droplets fell on the thick metal roof. I was the first to speak.
"The fireworks must be canceled."
"..."
"Because of the rain."
Pink-stained fingernails scraped the coat. Following the direction my hand had swept, the surface of the coat distorted. Go Yohan, with his muscles firmly defined, lifted his right arm and stroked it with his left hand. He also touched his shoulder while holding up his arm. It was just like the meaningless torment I inflicted on the coat and the seat. Go Yohan then rested his chin on his arms, which he had stacked on the steering wheel. The rain intensified, blurring the car windows.
"I might start smoking more."
Go Yohan's statement broke the silence, oddly enough. Yet, it was so characteristic of his presence, like shards of glass thrown into a calm lake.
"-Huh?"
"What do you think, should I?"
"...Why are you asking me."
I hate the smell of smoke-. I could have said that. Instead, I just put my somewhat scratchy thumb in my mouth and bit it lightly. Click. Click. My fingernails clicked between my teeth. Like Go Yohan, I turned to look out the side window. It was an unexpected guerrilla downpour. The ground was darker than the sky. The light from the street lamps spread on the ground and was immediately shredded upon touching the water.
I stopped biting my hand.
Ever since Go Yohan started smoking, I began to enjoy the smell of his cigarettes. His firmly set lips holding a slender white stick, his neatly high nose, his more sunken than average eyes. And the days of torment continued with the expressions Go Yohan made when he smoked.
"Why did you start smoking all of a sudden? Got a craving for it?"
It was strange. I felt choked up. A suffocating feeling tightly squeezed the blood vessels leading to my heart. I half-opened the drawer in front of me and then closed it again.
"In high school, you said kids who smoke have no future, that they're idiots."
"...Fuck."
"You said it yourself."
"Yeah. Fuck. I did say that."
Go Yohan sighed deeply and messed up his hair. His already untidy hair became even more disheveled by his hand. Unfortunately, that messy hair suited him too well. Everything about him, including the muscles highlighted by the shredded streetlight or his selfishly broad shoulders, seemed like props meant just for Go Yohan.
"I don't want to tell you."
His hand, which had been on the steering wheel, dropped to the seat. Go Yohan then leaned back against the seat, letting his body collapse. He then turned his head to the opposite side from where I was sitting.
Was that his way of cutting off the conversation? My breath caught for no reason. A heart-wrenching anxiety gripped my heart strongly. In contrast to Go Yohan slumped in his seat, I sat up straight. And then I froze. It was due to the foreign movement slipping into my coat.
Slim fingers crept like they were crawling, slipping through the gap in my coat. Go Yohan was clearly looking the other way, but his right hand was invading inside my coat. Instinctively, my stomach muscles tightened. Finally, his fingers hooked onto the waistband of my underwear. The fingers that slipped through the gap between my underwear and skin tugged then let go.
"...Go Yohan."
I heard his breathing. The barely visible line of Go Yohan's jaw trembled. Then, the fingers that had clutched my underwear began to move downwards. Thanks to that, the end of my underwear, which should have been around my waist, slid down below my buttocks.
"You think I'm a dog too, right? I feel like I'm going crazy. Do you feel it?"
Go Yohan's voice bounced off the window glass back to me. I was too caught up in steadying my trembling breath and mentally harassed mind to answer. While I remained silent, Go Yohan's hand moved inside my underwear. I just held onto the coat's lapel, staring into space, my vision scattering with excitement.
The hand inside grazed my thigh forcefully. Though it was strong enough to leave red marks, it didn't hurt. Only the forefinger, which was properly pressed, felt as if it was pressing on a bone. I reflexively gripped the coat tightly, suppressing the cry that was about to burst out.
"...Ah."
The finger pressing just before it could cause injury slid down my thigh. That slow movement felt excruciatingly sensitive, like being sliced with a knife. Go Yohan's body slightly leaned towards me. The rustling of the seat filled the car.
The finger that had reached my knee then turned inward, bending at the joint on a slightly fleshy part.
The precariously placed underwear was being pulled down even more. The only thing that could keep the underwear from falling down at this point was my own weight.
I turned and saw pants sprawled on the back seat floor. I thought it was strange.
"Go Yohan, you... you intended to do this. From the beginning, you planned to..."
"Fuck, of course. You just realized? No need to watch useless fireworks. Fuck. Waste of time."
The long, thin forefinger pressed lightly against the flesh below my genitals, over the thin fabric. The sensation of flesh being scraped harshly through the thin cloth made my whole body shiver. My entire leg convulsed violently once.
Go Yohan's wrist was pressed between my legs, but his fingers didn't stop.
"I never forget a debt."
"..."
My foot twisted, scraping the rough floor with the top of my foot because of how Go Yohan was precariously rubbing around my genitals in circles. My muscles shuddered like a body trembling from too much caffeine.
"You understand. Honestly, this is partly your fault too. If you had just given in back then, none of this would have happened."
His hand, which had been deeply burrowed inside my thigh, stopped. Ah, it stopped. Suddenly, the cessation of that tickling sensation left me feeling a strange emptiness, and I twisted my body. That's when it happened. Go Yohan firmly grabbed the inside of my thigh and pulled me powerfully toward him. Simultaneously, my already weakening back slid abruptly.
Crazy. As soon as I realized one leg had been forcibly spread, I hurriedly brought my legs together. However, Go Yohan lifted the corner of his mouth and slipped his fingers through the gap in my underwear, snapping the clinging fabric. With a disturbing snap, the underwear clung roughly to my skin.
"Ah... It was you who vowed chastity to God."
"You know well? That's why I converted."
Go Yohan immediately grasped my hardened genitals over the underwear. I placed my hand somewhere on the door and held my breath as Go Yohan leaned towards me, peeked at the hollowed middle of my coat as he spread my legs, and laughed looking at me.
"God, you're quick to rise."
"...Let go."
"Jun, just be honest. You wanted to be screwed by me. You looked at my dick that way."
His large hand slowly stroked my genitals up and down, a truly textbook movement. I forced strength into my waist, which was involuntarily bending. The hand that had been wandering somewhere on the door began to wander again.
Click, click, the excited hand tapped around, looking for a support. Unfortunately, the passenger seat did not have many objects to grab onto.
The friction made my genitals grow hotter. Go Yohan felt the blood rushing below, making twitching movements, and lightly lifted his hand. The flesh did not touch, but the warmth was almost touching, honestly, that was more tormenting. I swallowed my dry saliva heavily and opened my mouth with difficulty.
"...It's not like that."
"Ah, pretending it's not."
Ah-. Go Yohan let out a long sound and laughed bitterly. An odd chill went down my spine at that laugh, and the warmth from my swollen genitals dropped.
Uh. Slowly, I lifted my eyes to look at Go Yohan. Below, I felt the coat flutter momentarily. Looking down again, Go Yohan's hand was no longer inside my coat. He had laid his hand back on the steering wheel, maintaining an annoyingly casual attitude.
"That tiny hole leaks so much yet you pretend it’s not."
"Hey, why do you keep talking..."
"-What are you doing?"
Go Yohan bent his hand resting on the steering wheel. The hand, faintly illuminated, sparkled a bit. It wasn't soaked, but there was moisture on the tips of his fingers. But, unfortunately, that was even more arousing.
Without looking at me, Go Yohan said in an even tone.
"Take it off."
But the desire and excitement hidden in his voice were clearly directed at me. Take it off. With those words, Go Yohan briefly turned his head and gazed intently at my center.
"You’re getting your jizz on my car."
"...Go Yohan."
"And don't cover your legs with the coat, sit on it. Spread your legs. That's the respect and duty you owe me."
His arrogant gaze weighed on me. What the hell is respect and duty to you? Before that, you said this wasn’t your car, that it was rented? This bastard lied to me again. What kind of respect should I show? By getting excited and presenting the entire scene of my erection? Why would Go Yohan want to see such a humiliating scene? I felt suffocated, but the excitement below was even more stifling.
His smirking mouth appeared below those arrogant eyes. I let out a hollow laugh, rubbing my forehead with my hand. Go Yohan's pranks are always malicious.
"They said you can’t see inside from outside."
"They can't see. Or maybe, would you prefer they could?"
Go Yohan noticed me stepping back. Honestly, I’m going crazy too. Already alone with Go Yohan in the car, this game was over. Bastard. He’s quick-witted. I must have had bloodshot eyes as I covered them with the back of my hand.
"Yeah, I want you to die."
"How unfortunate, your wish won’t be granted."
Go Yohan spoke with a bit of guilt in his expression.
"I think I'll live a long and healthy life."
"...Bastard."
"Really unfortunate, Jun. But that’s life, isn’t it? Things don’t always go as planned."
Is he mocking me or actually apologizing? It must be mockery.
"Fuck, you're terrible..."
I shook my head and lifted my legs. Then I slipped my thumbs into the waistband of my underwear. Even as I was aware of what I was doing, imagining what was to come made me feel suffocated.
Glancing at Go Yohan out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of him stroking his dry face. Then he dropped a comment provocative enough to excite anyone.
"It can't be helped. You like Go Yohan, you like me. Even when I was going crazy? Crazy bastard. Why didn’t you say it earlier? I’m regretting my school days. Bastards. Every time we talk about sex, why do you go berserk? It was because of this. If I had known then that I could have had sex with you, I would have been the champion of life's garbage. Do you know how hard it is to hold back the desire to spread your legs every time I see you getting excited and to spray my seed inside you?"
"Crazy, you're fucking crazy."
Dammit, why say that now.
My moving hand stopped, and my heart pounded insanely. Thumping like it’s being punched. I’m also not sane if my heart races at such a filthy confession. For a moment, I imagined myself shaking helplessly under Go Yohan with my hands tied and twisted my waist. Damn it. My already erect genitals convulsed violently.
I tightly closed my eyes and then opened them. I didn't want to be the only one affected by this, feeling unfair that only I was so visibly disturbed.
"Hey."
"What."
Go Yohan answered while leaning his forehead on his hand, not even looking at me. Maybe he was embarrassed, or perhaps he was questioning his own desires. But it was already too late. The damage was done. After several incidents like this, I've learned that once things escalate, I tend to just go for it. And I hate to lose.
Slowly, I lifted my waist and stretched my underwear to the sides. I did this as I turned towards where Go Yohan was sitting. And at the same time, I spoke indifferently.
"Going to look?"
"..."
"I mean, you can watch me undress."
Go Yohan's gaze slowly returned to me. I didn't miss that moment and slowly pulled down my underwear. At that instant, I saw his light-colored eyes gradually cloud over. As the underwear slipped down, it pressed against my genitals and then sprang up as it slid down my thighs, freeing itself.
I watched my own arousal rising instinctively, then looked at Go Yohan and spoke.
"What's the interest rate?"
His clouded gaze deepened. I instinctively knew the meaning behind that look. Just look where the gaze falls. Already glistening were my genitals and thighs, and the places Go Yohan had intensely focused on.
Go Yohan was violating me in his imagination.
"Your hole."
I heard Go Yohan’s remark while pushing my coat with the tip of my foot to the floor. His gaze dropped to the falling coat and then returned up.
"Squirm."
Damn it. Heat rushed to my face.
"Hey, you bastard. Just because I stepped up doesn't mean you need to say that..."
"Do you know what this car's nickname is?"
Go Yohan, who had been peering below me for a while, asked with an innocent face.
"What is it?"
"It’s made by Ferrari for car sex."
I was momentarily dumbfounded by his crude but innocent-sounding words. I wasn’t sure if he was just filthy-mouthed or genuinely naive.
"Such a car exists...?"
"Do you want to?"
Go Yohan asked with a light tone, but his eyes were seriously probing. Those eyes seemed to be touching my body. I felt that untouchable sensation as I pulled down the clothes Go Yohan was wearing. Slowly, I raised my knees and crawled across the seat. Then I lowered my feet near the gear shift.
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Go Yohan looked up at me as he scanned below me, and I said to him.
"…You originally intended to do this, right?"
At my words, Go Yohan wet his lips.
"Don't change your story. You're a liar."
"..."
Following my words, Go Yohan suddenly moved, staring intensely at me. He moved his left hand to pull something under the seat. Then, with a clunky noise, the seat slid back, propelled by his unnecessarily long legs.
I glared at Go Yohan's legs, then carefully stepped over the gear to cross between his outstretched legs. Bending over slightly, I hesitated for a moment before sitting on top of him. I cleared my throat and composed myself. After a short deliberation, I grabbed Go Yohan's pants buckle. But my hands trembled severely, noticeably even to Go Yohan.
However, Go Yohan’s abdominal muscles were also trembling slightly, so I didn’t say anything and carefully pulled at the buckle. With a thud, the buckle came undone.
"..."
"..."
I swallowed again.
This time, I grabbed the zipper with my trembling hands. Just as I was about to pull it down, Go Yohan’s hand began to softly stroke up my thigh that was kneeling. His hand, which had been gently caressing bare skin, moved higher, slipped inside my clothing, and rubbed my waist.
"Ah..."
Without realizing it, I twisted my waist and squinted. The pain that had been prickling severely at my genitals shifted slightly. Seeing this, Go Yohan laughed and reached down to grab my pelvis, pressing lightly with his thumb on my stomach and waist. That caused the hand holding the zipper to jerk.
"Ah, wait, just wait a bit."
"Jun, hurry up and pull it down. I want to rub against yours fast."
"I get it, but please, let’s go slowly."
"They say it’s exciting to be teased while being inside. Are you like that too?"
"How would I... know, you bastard."
"Ah, I took your first time, right."
Go Yohan did not stop the cold-fingered caresses on my waist and stomach. Every touch sent a chill deep into my insides, the painful sensation gradually turning into an unbearable sensitivity. Fearing the unbearable gap, I let go of the zipper and lifted my trembling hands to press down on Go Yohan’s hands.
Then, I accidentally hit the car's horn with my elbow. A short, very faint honk sounded, startling us into halting all actions, with Go Yohan's wrist still firmly grasped.
"It's quite spacious, but it still touches the back."
"Did, did anyone hear it?"
"At this hour, in this weather? Everyone’s probably waiting inside buildings to avoid the rain."
"What if there’s someone else trying to leave like us?"
"Then we just need to be quieter."
Surprisingly, Go Yohan lowered his hand obediently as I pressed his wrist. However, the words he uttered were anything but submissive. With his hand now under the seat, Go Yohan lifted his chin and said,
"You’re not going to stop here, are you? Coward."
"I’m not."