Getting reborn: I will make a harem this time.-Chapter 44: Separation (part 2)

"I don’t want you to see me crying."

Her words felt heavy.

"You know, I am actually not from this planet. I come from a different one. And I am also not from this time or era. I am not even a human."

She stopped after that, and after a brief silence, her words rang into my ears again.

"I come from the planet of beasts, but they are not like the beasts from here, they have their own intelligence. And just because I say I am a beast, you wouldn’t hate me, would you?" She asked with a playful smile, trying to hide that sadness and grief inside her.

"I would never!"

I truly will never hate her whether she is a human, beast or a demon. I can never hate her.

"I know... and I am also the same, whether you wish to turn back to a human again or you go back to becoming a demon. I will love you forever. Even if I am gone, my feelings for you will stay the same. It won’t matter even if you don’t love me, I will do it until I die."

She buried her head on my shoulders. Tears kept on coming down from her eyes.

"The outside world is soon about to change, people will do anything to achieve the godhood. Many more people who have been in slumber from centuries ago will rise soon. At that time, the strength of this world won’t be enough to survive. It will likely fall once the war breaks out with many other small worlds. You need to be prepared for that, brother... I do not have much time now, they are waiting for me."

She said, her voice getting bleak.

"Who are they?!" I yelled. "I will kill them all, just... don’t leave me, Setsuna." My voice cracked, with the fear of losing her.

But contrary to me, she maintained her calm and said, "You fool, they are my people, not my enemy."

"I don’t care about them... stay with me, Setsuna."

"You think I wouldn’t want to? But I can’t, I do not have a reason to stay here. I have no relation to stay here any longer."

"You do! I am your relation, you are my sister."

"No, I am not, Ravi. We aren’t related with each other in any way. We do not have same parents, so we can’t be siblings, and neither do we have any romantic relationship. So what reason do I have to stay here?"

I couldn’t answer to her on that. I can’t deny it or say ’no, you are my sister.’

I do not hold such feelings for her, my feelings for her are clear... but we don’t even have a romantic relation.

"You know, there is actually a ritual in my homeland. Woman who wish to marry holds a ceremony of battle. Only the male who is stronger than all and defeats the bride can marry her. A strange tradition we have, but we beastwoman are like that... we only acknowledge the male who are stronger than us as our partner and will stick with them until we die.

"During my time, no man was strong enough to defeat me, not just beastsmen, but men from faraway planets also joined it, but I found no one. Until I met you, you were weaker than me when we first met, but due to the restrictions of this world, I couldn’t use my strength at all. But you protected me, whatever reason you might had, you still saved me, though I admit it actually hurt my pride that someone weaker than me was protecting me, but soon... i fell in love with you, even when you faced all of the world alone, you were unafraid. If not for this world’s restrictions, you might have soared even higher. Because of that, I fell for you again, but maybe i wasn’t the one for you..."

She bit her lips saying that, blood flowed from it.

She then went closer to me ears and bit on them, but she used her mana while biting me.

It wasn’t the mana that I was familiar with, it was different.

After biting my ears, she pulled herself away from me.

As soon as she got away, i immediately turned towards her, but my eyes widened with what I saw before me.

Setsuna had turned back to her beast form. Till now, I have only seen her in her human form, but currently she was in her beast form.

Her face had changed, it was even more beautiful than before. Two pair of cat like ears appeared on her head and at her back, nine big tails were waving rhythmically.

She was a nine tailed fox.

She looked at me, her eyes red with tears, and her smile hollow. She tried to hide the pain, but I could feel it well.

"8 years from now... I will be waiting for you, coward. Good bye for now."

Saying that, she disappeared from there.

An uneasy feeling welled up in my heart.

I kept on looking at the place she was in just now. My expressions blank.

I couldn’t think nor utter a word right now.

Her disappearance changed something inside me.

What that was? I didn’t know... I do not wish to know at all.

All of this was my fault.

If only I had acted sooner, then probably this wouldn’t have happened...

Why am I such a disappointment everytime?

I always strive to be perfect. I wants things to go as I wish... but everytime reality slaps me in my face and tell me...

I am flawed.

I can never... have never done anything that was without any flaws.

Maybe that was why I wanted to be alone... because I never wanted people to see me fail. Even if I had imperfections, I will be the only one to know them... but now, all of that changed.

There are people I care for, I should protect them... but my faults are making them go away from me.

What even stopped me from accepting her feelings?

What stopped me from telling her the truth sooner?

Now, even if i say and pledge to myself to change, I know i will once again stand on this same place again, questioning why can I not do anything correctly.

This is frustrating.

I gnashed my teeth’s.

I hate it. I hate myself.

Why can I not be good?

I gritted my teeth so hard that blood dripped down my mouth.

An uncontrollable aura filled with hatred erupted from my body.

But I didn’t stop it. I wanted my rage to calm down, if I hold it back now, then I am sure I will take it out somewhere else in future.

I couldn’t think anything else beside hating myself.

And just when I was about to lose it completely.

Someone grabbed me from behind and embraced me tightly.

It was a touch I was familiar with.

She was Zixane.

She pulled me into her embrace, trying to calm me down.

"You shouldn’t hate yourself, husband. No one is born with perfection, and no one is perfect. Everyone has their own flaws, and fixing those is what life teaches us. Never blame yourself for what you lack, try to achieve it through hardwork. If you feel you are not strong then try to work hard until you achieve it, if you feel like you keep on making mistakes, you are full of flaws then learn from it and never repeat them again. I have full faith in you, husband. You can fill all the flaws of yours, no matter how many tries you require, you will fill it for sure."

Her soft words, calmed me down a bit.

Losing Setsuna made me go through mental breakdown.

But yeah, I am imperfect. I have many flaws in me.

I am not some main character in a novel, who needs to be perfect in everything.

I am a human.

I will learn from my flaws.

I have already gone through a lot, even when I was powerless I never lost my will to survive, and became the strongest.

If I can do it once, then I can do it again. I will fix all of my flaws.

I lost you once, Setsuna, but not again.

8 years? Fine, I will find you in those 8 years and in front of all the people’s in your homeland, I will make you mine.

No matter what, I will never lose anyone dear to me yet again.

***

Thanks for reading everyone.

How do I say this? I feel it was a necessary Chapter but at the same time it feels as if it wasn’t. I wanted to give hom more character development and give him reasons to keep going forward even if he feels that he isn’t perfect and make mistakes.

What do you feel about that? Do tell me your thoughts.

Stay tuned for more...