Hate Me, Witch!-Chapter 84: You May Call Me ‘Joker’

"Achoo—"

Xia Ya suddenly sneezed.

Rubbing his nose, he frowned slightly.

For the past few days, his spiritual intuition had been feeling uneasy. Every morning when he woke up, his eyelids twitched.

It felt like… something subtle, yet significant, was about to happen to him.

But no matter how much he thought about it, he couldn’t find any concrete clues.

He had even gone to see a famous diviner in the Imperial Capital—one who claimed to own a High-tier Monarch-class divination owl as a summoned beast.

Yet, after a great deal of chanting and ritual work—

The only advice the so-called "Grand Prophet" gave him was: "Drink more goji tea, eat more kidneys."

Xia Ya was utterly confused.

Worse still, he had wasted 300 Rhine Gold Coins on the reading.

"Being a fraud seems pretty profitable. Maybe I should get a Time-attribute summoned beast and start my own scam business."

Washing his face, Xia Ya quickly adjusted his mood.

Today was an important day.

Not only was it the weekly reset for the Warm-Hearted Lucky Bag in the shop—

It was also the first time his quests had refreshed since completing the Beginner Mission.

If Xia Ya had already thought Free EXP and Skill Seeds were precious before, then after browsing the Sands of Time Shop and seeing its vast selection of items, he had set his sights even higher.

Grind quests. Empty the shop.

Forget everything else—just that "Black Chalice" alone—

If it really was an all-powerful wish machine…

Did that mean, as long as he could find a way to remove its side effects, he could return to Earth?

Of course, after living in the Western Continent for so many years, Xia Ya had long since formed bonds with many people and places here.

But still, if he could take Little Ai back home to visit, that’d be pretty nice.

Setting aside all the cliché tropes like Returning in Glory, Dragon King’s Homecoming, or Becoming a Legendary Beastmaster, Only to Be Thrown into a Death Game with Cosmic Eldritch Beings—

Just simple things like Coke, PS5, the internet, and air conditioning—

Xia Ya missed them dearly.

All of those were life-improving essentials.

Much better than the half-baked magitech of this fantasy-medieval world.

"Let’s start small."

Carefully washing his hands at the sink, Xia Ya focused his mental energy and activated the interface, exchanging for the weekly-limited Warm-Hearted Lucky Bag.

This was a guaranteed-value item—so no matter what, it wouldn’t be a loss.

[You have purchased ‘Warm-Hearted Lucky Bag’ – Cost: 1 Sands of Time. Current remaining Sands of Time: 26]

A flash of blue light.

[You have obtained ‘Transcendent Skill Experience Card (Timed)’ x1]

Huh?

Not a Small EXP Crystal this time?

Could it be that the wash your hands before pulling superstition actually worked?

Amused, Xia Ya checked the newly obtained item’s details.

[Transcendent Skill Experience Card (Timed)]

Rarity: Blue

Type: Limited-Time Item

Price: 10 Sands of Time

Description: When used, allows a summoned beast to temporarily learn a transcendent-tier skill within its compatible skill system. The skill will have "Perfect" proficiency and last for 3 minutes.

Note: This item will expire in 24 hours. (Current time remaining: 23 hours, 59 minutes, 53 seconds.)

This was something not currently available for direct purchase in the Sands of Time Shop—likely one of the locked item categories.

It was included in the Lucky Bag’s prize pool and could only be obtained through a random draw.

Xia Ya stared at the Transcendent Skill Experience Card (Timed), deep in thought.

To be honest, a transcendent-tier skill experience card was an incredibly powerful item.

Even though the effect only lasted three minutes—

For those three minutes, he could use a completely new transcendent-tier skill at “Perfect” mastery, with no restrictions.

Xia Ya had great respect for transcendent-tier skills.

After all, the "Amaterasu" that once broke through a Twilight Incarnation’s defenses was only a pseudo-transcendent skill.

And all his main summoned beasts' combat abilities were still at the High-tier level at best—including practical ones like "Blink" and "Tsukuyomi".

Perhaps when he reached Fourth-Ring Master-tier Beastmaster, and his summoned beasts ascended to Monarch-tier, these skills might evolve further.

But right now, even three minutes of a full transcendent-tier skill could decisively change the outcome of a battle.

The only problem—

The damn card had a 24-hour expiration limit.

In other words—

He had to use it today, or this Lucky Bag would be completely wasted.

However, Xia Ya was currently in the Imperial Capital.

Unlike back when he was preparing for the final battle at the Ruins of Cangting Principality, there was no urgent crisis here—

Which meant there was no ideal opportunity to use this card.

"Either I find a high-difficulty quest today…"

"Or I just let Silver test out a future skill and use it as a foundation for a self-created ability."

That wasn’t a bad idea.

Even if the experience card’s effect only lasted three minutes, the insights and sensations from using the transcendent-tier skill would remain afterward.

Back when Xia Ya helped Silver create "Amaterasu", if he had a way to let Silver experience its power beforehand, it would have made the creation process far easier.

There would have been no need for Xia Ya to painstakingly craft illusions of the Golden Crow, Flame Mountain, or Solar Deity to assist in visualization.

"It has some value, but not much. No wonder it’s only worth 10 Sands of Time. The non-limited version is probably at least 30."

"Oh well, still better than just getting a Small EXP Crystal as a freebie."

Xia Ya shifted his gaze away from the Lucky Bag’s result and looked at the other side of the interface—

The first official mission after the Beginner Mission’s seven-day cooldown.

[First Official Mission Unlocked]

[Phase 1: Trigger Historical Echo – "Ascagnia" (Incomplete)]

"Oh wow, straight-up throwing a Historical Echo mission at me from the start? Not even pretending to play fair, huh?"

"And—Ascagnia?"

"Where the hell is that?"

Xia Ya’s gaze lingered on the mission details.

He had spent years in the archaeological exploration field while searching for the Ruins of Cangting Principality.

Combined with his exceptionally strong mental perception, he was practically an expert in ancient history at this point.

Most archaeology students wouldn’t even compare to him in this field.

If he had ever seen this name in historical texts—

He would definitely remember it.

"Don’t tell me this is from that lost era before the Era of Cataclysm."

"If that’s the case, then this is going to be a massive pain in the ass."

Xia Ya felt a headache coming on.

Due to the events of the Era of Cataclysm, there were enormous gaps and blank spots in the recorded history of the entire Western Continent.

The Principality of Cangting existed over five hundred years ago, right at the tail end of the Era of Cataclysm.

A few decades after its destruction, the Era of Cataclysm officially came to an end.

That was why, despite the scarcity of information on Cangting, at least some records and clues still remained.

However, if one looked even further back—to the early Era of Cataclysm…

Or worse, to a time before the Church of Dawn was founded—before the Sacred Calendar even began…

Then the secrets of that history were likely known only to the gods themselves.

Yet, just as Xia Ya was considering this, he suddenly noticed a new item appearing in the shop’s exchange menu.

[Map Guidance: Historical Echo "Ascagnia"]

Rarity: Green

Price: 5 Sands of Time

Description: Helps the host locate the Historical Echo’s precise location.

"Ha. Figures."

"So this is why the Beginner Quest’s built-in guidance feature got removed."

Xia Ya once again felt the System’s devious intent.

[You have purchased 'Map Guidance: Ascagnia' – Cost: 5 Sands of Time. Current remaining Sands of Time: 21.]

He had no choice.

It had to be bought.

His time was far too valuable.

If he had to spend years searching for Ascagnia, the same way he had hunted for the Ruins of Cangting, then he’d rather just pay up and save himself the trouble.

In the next moment—

A translucent map of the Western Continent unfolded in Xia Ya’s mind.

His eyes narrowed.

Because he quickly realized that the marked location—

Was very close to where he currently was.

In fact, in terms of the vast scale of the Western Continent—

It was practically right next to him.

Inside the Imperial Capital.

And if he wasn’t mistaken—

That location belonged to someone very important.

Imperial Military Headquarters – Intelligence Division

Lieutenant Colonel Zieg looked at Xia Ya, who was flipping through classified files, then at the golden-haired girl standing a step behind him—gazing coldly at the unfamiliar environment.

A bitter smile formed on his face.

Not long ago, Ailora had held a holy spear to his throat and threatened him.

That wasn’t an experience he’d be forgetting anytime soon.

A Fourth-Ring Master-tier Officer, being intimidated by a Third-Tier Transcendent Academy student—

If word of that got out, the entire Military Department would be rolling with laughter.

But at the time, Lieutenant Colonel Zieg had no doubt whatsoever—

If he refused to hand over that mental enhancement elixir, he was going to die.

No exceptions.

"Xia Ya, why aren’t you buying intel from the Shadow Council this time? What made you remember that we have an intelligence network?"

Zieg cautiously stepped a little further away from Ailora before asking.

"That place is a total rip-off. I don’t even dare go back anymore."

Xia Ya’s eyes remained fixed on the files in front of him as he answered absentmindedly.

"If I go there again, I might end up having to sell my body to pay off my debts."

"Besides, I just became an Edged Knight, right? That basically makes me your military’s second-in-command. Might as well take advantage of that."

The Imperial Military’s intelligence network was vastly different from the Shadow Council’s.

The military focused primarily on recent events—tracking major factions, high-level individuals, and geopolitical shifts across the continent.

Any slight movement in enemy territory would be detected, as it could directly impact continental warfare and strategic planning.

However, when it came to ancient history, forbidden knowledge, or long-buried secrets, the military’s intelligence division knew very little.

Simply because—

It wasn’t in the military’s direct interests.

If they had such records, Xia Ya wouldn’t have had to keep handing money to the Shadow Council every time he needed information.

If you can get it for free, why pay for it?

"...This is the one."

Xia Ya’s gaze locked onto a particular file.

As he scanned its contents, his eyes narrowed slightly.

[Sins &Thorns Club]

Business Operations: Bridge, Imperial Military Chess...

Xia Ya waved the file at Zieg.

"A card game club that occupies half a street block—and it’s classified as a top-secret military intelligence case?"

"It’s not just a card club."

Zieg moved beside Xia Ya, frowning at the report.

"It’s actually a massive underground casino."

"And unlike most gambling establishments, which are just out for profit, there’s indirect evidence that Sins &Thorns is tied to certain black market operations."

"These include, but are not limited to—organ trafficking, human imprisonment, and slave trading."

Xia Ya raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"...So you’re telling me the Imperial Capital’s biggest black market criminal hub has been operating right under your noses, and you people are just letting it slide?"

"I thought the Saint Roland Academy incident was an exception—"

"But now it’s looking like the Military Department and the Order Bureau are both just filled with a bunch of useless bureaucrats living off government salaries."

Zieg gave a helpless smile.

"The Military Department and the Order Bureau were both created as a compromise between the Empire and the noble factions."

"On paper, we hold jurisdiction over the entire Imperial Territory—"

"But in reality, we’re tied down by countless restrictions."

"Even the upper ranks of the Military Department and Order Bureau are full of noble faction placements—"

A cold glint flashed in Zieg’s sharp eyes.

"Sins &Thorns is owned by Viscount Lorie."

"And according to the Third Amendment Act, passed forty-one years ago—"

"Unless we possess irrefutable evidence and obtain parliamentary approval to issue a search warrant, neither the Order Bureau nor the Military Department have any right to enforce the law on any noble property ranked Baron or higher."

"The evidence we have is all indirect—not enough to justify a search warrant."

"And even if we did apply for one…"

"...By the time the noble-controlled parliament actually approved it—"

"All the criminals would have already wiped the evidence and disappeared."

Xia Ya waved the file in his hand and finished the sentence for him.

"Wow. You guys really are something else."

"This is textbook level corruption and organized crime protection."

"I finally understand why the Imperial Princess wants to rebuild the Edged Knights."

"Nothing we can do."

"The noble faction’s grip over the Empire didn’t happen overnight."

"It’s a problem that’s been entrenched for centuries."

Lieutenant Colonel Zieg could clearly hear the mockery in Xia Ya’s tone.

But instead of being offended—

He simply nodded in agreement.

Xia Ya was completely right.

Even if his words were harsh—

They were the truth.

If the Order Bureau and Military Department continued to act as the Empire’s last line of order—

Then within a few short decades, the Empire’s remaining strength and public trust would be completely drained by the nobles.

By then—

Even if the Fresta Empire didn’t outright collapse—

It would exist in name only.

Zieg looked at Xia Ya, his expression serious.

"That is why I swore allegiance to Her Highness, Isadella."

"Among all the imperial heirs, only Her Highness possesses the decisiveness and ruthless efficiency necessary to cleanse these tumors and shadows."

"To restore Fresta—to restore Camelot—"

"Back to the city of order and ideals it was meant to be when it was first founded."

Xia Ya listened indifferently, neither agreeing nor disagreeing, as he set down the dossier in his hands.

"A noble vision is all well and good."

"But this casino’s secrets run deeper than just one viscount’s crimes, don’t they?"

"A mere viscount’s misdeeds wouldn’t warrant first-class secrecy."

"That’s correct," Zieg admitted.

He continued, his voice steady, "The real issue is that the owner of this casino—Viscount Lorie—has another identity."

"Oh?"

Xia Ya paused for a moment and took the tea that Ailora had brewed for him.

Tea was another of Xia Ya’s business ventures—a health-conscious alternative to alcohol, particularly popular among the middle-aged and elderly.

Blowing on the steaming ceramic cup, he asked casually, "And that would be?"

Zieg hesitated for a moment before finally speaking.

"‘Crimson Rose’—the Borgia Family."

"This casino is one of several major money-laundering hubs and resource transit points that the Borgia Family operates within the Imperial Capital."

"Every day, vast sums of money and resources flow through it, funneling into various locations across the Western Continent."

"And Viscount Lorie… is their frontman."

Xia Ya’s hand paused slightly as he took a sip of tea.

"Why does it feel like the Borgia Family is everywhere?"

"In the Imperial Capital, almost all covert operations—aside from entities like the Shadow Council, which can sustain themselves independently—have noble backers," Zieg explained.

"And among the noble factions, the Borgia Family is one of the most influential."

"If we can take down Sins &Thorns, it would severely disrupt their financial network."

"It could even shake up the current power dynamics within the capital."

"However…"

He sighed, shaking his head in frustration.

Xia Ya smirked.

"So, if we dismantle this casino, we’d be doing Her Highness a favor?"

"Of course. The Borgia Family is the strongest noble faction in the capital and Her Highness’s greatest obstacle," Zieg confirmed with a nod.

"But their network runs deep. Following the standard legal procedures would be nearly impossible."

"And if we abandon protocol and resort to force, it might provoke a united backlash from the noble factions…"

Zieg’s words trailed off.

Because—

Xia Ya had already stood up.

He adjusted his black trench coat.

"As long as it helps Her Highness, that’s all that matters."

During the final battle at the Ruins of Cangting Principality, Isadella had provided him with a bidirectional teleportation array and the ‘Judgment Edict’, imbued with the Black King’s words of power.

Both had been invaluable to Xia Ya.

He wasn’t one to fall for empty promises.

But he also didn’t like owing favors.

If this was a chance to repay the debt—

Then all the better.

Straightening his collar, he called out—

"Let’s go, Little Ai. We’ve got work."

The golden-haired girl beside him nodded and obediently followed Xia Ya toward the exit.

But then—

Ailora’s steps suddenly halted.

Her icy blue eyes locked onto the entrance of the Military Department’s passageway, an unmistakable glint of hostility flashing within them.

Xia Ya followed her gaze and immediately understood the reason for her hostility.

A graceful silhouette emerged from the corridor’s corner.

She wore a pristine white dress, her delicate features exuding an air of innocence.

Most importantly—

She was well-endowed.

With a light, confident stride, she quickly approached Xia Ya and Ailora.

"This is the Intelligence Division of the Military Department."

"Not exactly the kind of place a ‘model student’ like the Student Council President should be visiting."

For once—Ailora spoke before Xia Ya.

"Ailora, that hurts," Diris responded, her pure, innocent face showing a hint of feigned disappointment.

If Xia Ya hadn’t personally witnessed her demonic true form before, he might have actually believed that pitiful expression.

"The whole ‘Student Council President’ thing is just a cover."

"Now that I’m also a part of the Edged Knights, I belong in the Military Department."

With that, she stepped closer to Ailora, lowering her voice so that only the two of them could hear—

"Relax, Ailora. I’m not your competition."

"I’ve been inside Xia Ya’s dreams."

"So I know exactly where you stand in his heart."

"You’re too important to him—I could never replace you."

"Honestly… I doubt anyone in this world could."

Ailora’s expression remained frosty, but the silvery glow in her blue eyes softened ever so slightly.

"…Ahem."

Xia Ya cleared his throat, breaking the tense atmosphere.

"Diris, what do you mean you’re also an Edged Knight?"

"Edged Knights is an organization, just like the Order Bureau or the Military Department," she explained.

"There’s a hierarchy—leaders, subordinates."

"You didn’t think just a handful of people could act as the Damocles’ Sword overseeing the entire empire, did you?"

She took a step back and flashed Xia Ya a sweet, innocent smile.

Then, leaning close to his ear—ignoring Ailora’s rising murderous intent—she whispered—

"By Her Highness’s decree, from today onward, I’m your subordinate in the Edged Knights."

"In other words… if my superior wants to enforce any ‘secretarial workplace rules’—like doing OOOO in the Intelligence Division…"

"Or letting me OOOO under your desk…"

"I won’t say no."

Warm breath tickled Xia Ya’s ear, sending a faint shiver down his spine.

"Or, if my lord finds me lacking in charm…"

"I could use my succubus royal bloodline to conjure an illusion of Her Highness instead…"

"Or perhaps your golden elf mentor from the Black Tower…"

"I could even make Ailora’s flat chest a little fuller, if that’s what you prefer…"

"Diris."

Xia Ya interrupted her before she could continue.

Feeling the murderous aura emanating from behind him—

He sighed deeply.

"You’re deliberately teasing me, aren’t you?"

"Otherwise, shouldn’t this conversation be happening in private?"

"Oh?"

Diris blinked her soft, pure eyes.

"I just thought you might enjoy the thrill of sneaking around in front of your real girlfriend."

"Alright, that’s enough."

Xia Ya had to admit—

Some of Diris’s suggestions were… tempting.

The only problem was—

If he actually tried them—

He might not live long enough to regret it.

Diris truly deserved her status as a succubus royal.

Even as a so-called disgrace to her race, she was a terrifyingly fast learner—

It had only been a few days, and she had already become an expert in the art of seduction.

"Since the Edged Knights is an organization, that means I have more subordinates than just you, right?"

"As expected of Xia Ya—figured that out without me even explaining."

Diris looked at him with open admiration.

Which only made Ailora’s glare even icier.

"The first Edged Knights were founded by the legendary knights who once followed the Late Emperor."

"That is why the true Edged Knights were also known by another name—『The Knights of the Round Table』."

"These legendary knights once sat at a single round table alongside the sovereign, deliberating on the Empire’s fate."

"But as the royal family’s grip over the Empire weakened, both the Edged Knights and the Round Table faded into history."

"Even so, the bloodlines of those original knights still persist to this day, with a few of their descendants maintaining their unwavering loyalty to the royal family."

"In fact, there are currently two of them within the Imperial Military."

"A legend’s descendants?"

Xia Ya frowned.

"They’re not the type of spoiled brats who babble on about their ancestor’s glory, the Seven Virtues of Knighthood, and the ‘Golden Spirit’—only to turn into useless baggage the moment real danger appears, right?"

"Of course not."

Diris chuckled.

"If such people ever existed, they would have long since been erased by the noble factions during the Dark Era. There’s no way they would have survived to the present day."

"Besides, if they were that useless, Her Highness would never have chosen them—let alone entrusted them with positions as her trusted subordinates."

"Fair enough."

Xia Ya nodded.

If nothing else, he acknowledged that the Second Imperial Princess had a keen eye for selecting subordinates—none of them seemed to be the type to drag others down.

Of course, the main reason Xia Ya respected her judgment was—

She chose him as an Edged Knight.

When it came to recognizing talent, he had to admit—she had the sharpest vision in the Empire.

"Take me to meet them, then."

Imperial Military Department – Lounge

Two graceful figures sat in silence, blending seamlessly into the long bench and the shadows behind it.

Their appearances were strikingly similar, yet their auras were completely different.

Time passed in absolute silence.

Not a single word was spoken.

Until—

The lounge doors suddenly burst open.

A young man in a black trench coat strode inside, the upper half of his face obscured by a white metallic mask, revealing only a pair of dark eyes.

Behind him, two girls walked side by side—

One golden-haired, exuding a cold, lethal presence.

The other clad in a pure white dress, appearing demure and reserved.

Their faces, like his, were partially hidden behind metallic masks, revealing only their swan-like white necks and delicately sculpted jawlines.

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Xia Ya’s gaze swept across the room.

Then, he casually greeted—

"Ladies."

"From this day forward, you may call me—"

"『Joker』."