I May Be a Virtual Youtuber, but I Still Go to Work-Chapter 162

The culture of officers eating separately in their own mess hall disappeared about a year before Orca was discharged.

So yeah, even Orca has a traumatic memory tied to that seafood sauce.

Now that she’s out of the military, it’s been completely scrubbed from the menu—so rare you can’t even find it in stores anymore.

She loves seafood, but that sauce almost made her throw up.

It was, without exaggeration, the absolute worst example of food corruption ever served in the military.

You know how she brought home boxes of that abominable seafood sauce when she got discharged, even though it still had months left before expiration?

That was for one reason:

If anyone dared to say, “The military’s not that bad, right?”—

She could slam a can in their hands and reply, “This is the kind of shit they feed you.”

Why did she give some to Magia when she came over to help set up her gear?

Because Magia saw it all piled up in the kitchen and asked, “What the hell is that?”

And Orca replied, “Something that should never have existed.”

When Magia got curious and said she wanted to try it, Orca cracked open a can and scooped out just one spoonful, served with other side dishes.

Finishing a whole can? Basically impossible.

Even just a single spoonful—if you didn’t have other food to wash it down—you couldn’t finish your meal.

But the thing is, Magia didn’t react with disgust to the overwhelming stench or the godawful flavor.

When Orca said, “How is it? Absolutely revolting, right?”

And Magia replied, “Wow, that’s insane”—

She wasn’t being sarcastic. She meant it.

And now, it turns out Magia had asked for a few cans the other day not to prank someone else, but to... assassinate herself?

— O Judge likes seafood sauce... noted.

— That is one hell of a taste.

— Is there any way to keep her from bringing that to the Head of Rice Inspection?

— Wait, seafood sauce? Is she military? lol

— Girl’s a discharged high school student?? wtf

— Even Magia, who eats pineapple pizza, would draw the line at this

— Second-gen talents got it rough lololol

To make matters worse, thanks to Magia’s comments, the audience was starting to get the completely wrong idea.

A flustered Orca quickly scribbled on the whiteboard:

[Everyone, this is a misunderstanding. I do NOT eat seafood sauce. I threw up after one bite.]

— She says she doesn’t eat it?

— Who’s lying, then?

— lololol

— One of them’s gotta be full of it

:: Movgun has donated 1,000 Clouds! ::

:: Just feed her some and we’ll know for sure ::

— Prove your innocence by eating it

— Was this whole segment designed to torment the guest?? lol

— Horrifying...

— But like... aren’t you curious about seafood sauce jjamppong though?

— uh?

While Orca was busy explaining herself to the viewers with frantic scribbles,

Cheon Do-hee leaned over to Magia and asked nervously,

“...You can make actual food with that stuff, right?”

Even someone like Magia, who’s hopeless in the kitchen, can usually make a smoothie with syrup and not mess it up.

But seafood? That’s a different beast.

If you can’t handle the fishy smell, the slimy flavor, or the texture properly, you’re going to create something downright monstrous.

Normally, it’s better to use store-bought products than cook it yourself—

But this particular store-bought sauce has the worst reputation.

So there was zero hope that the final dish would taste good.

Even Cheon Do-hee, who didn’t know much about the military, had at least heard of that infamous seafood sauce.

But Magia just shrugged like it was no big deal.

“I had it at Judge O’s house once. It was fine.”

“...You mean fine as in actually edible?”

“Yeah. At least to me, it was okay.”

At that moment, probably half the viewers watching the stream facepalmed in sync.

— Oh

— So it was you

— I should’ve known back when she said she liked pineapple pizza...

— Don’t put her in the same tier as Pineapple Girl 😭😭😭😭

— Honestly, Pineapple Girl’s like ten times better lolololol

— This woman is a straight-up demon

Cheon Do-hee gave up.

She realized there was no saving this dish.

‘Guess there’s no helping it...’

She felt bad for Orca, but as long as the food meant for Ena turned out okay, they could wrap up the stream without a disaster.

There might be a new meme about how Magia secretly hates Orca...

But that could always be spun into a future joke or content bit.

Sorry, Orca.

Do-hee smiled awkwardly and said,

“...Well, let’s just make it and see how it goes?”

***

[I’ve returned from grueling training. I’d like a nourishing dish to soothe my exhausted body.]

[#recovery #mouthwatering #feel-good]

Even before the theme was announced, the horrifying ingredient revealed at the start had already sealed the outcome, at least according to popular opinion.

No matter what Magia added after that—or how she cooked it—none of it mattered.

— She actually cooked the noodles pretty well?

— But still, seafood sauce jjamppong though...

— fr tho lol

— The noodles aren’t the problem 😂

— Just look at that bubbling nightmare of a broth

— Momo’s house is gonna reek of fish smell lmao

— Krrrrk...

:: Anonymous donor has contributed 10,000 Clouds! ::

:: Second-gen contestants, wave a carrot if the fish smell gets overwhelming! ::

And then, without any prompting, three whiteboards popped up on screen at the same time:

[It’s horrible T△T]

[I want to die]

[ㅎㅎㅎㅎ... 🥕]

Everyone was silently screaming for mercy.

Sure, Orca—the one who’d actually have to eat it—was probably suffering the most.

But Magia paid no attention and stayed focused on her cooking.

Ding.

Since her dish was more complex, Magia’s wasn’t finished yet—but Cheon Do-hee’s meal was done first.

“Because we don’t have enough time on stream for long recipes, I considered a few options, but this one seemed best.”

— Whoa

— That grilled eel looks crazy good

— Kyaaaaaaa

— I can smell the sweetness of that sauce through the screen

— Yep, when it comes to cooking, Momo’s the real deal

“A classic stamina dish: grilled eel over rice.”

The sticky texture of the meat, the balance of umami and sweetness from the sauce—it was exactly the kind of dish Orca had asked for.

And yet, even with that delicious meal in front of her, Orca couldn’t smile.

Ding.

Just as she was about to dig in, Magia’s seafood sauce jjamppong was finished...

The sauce had been dumped into water and boiled until the whole kitchen reeked of fish.

The idea of eating that thing after finishing this delicious rice bowl made her stomach lurch.

Still, with the aftermath in mind, she couldn’t turn down the good food now.

Orca clenched her eyes shut and took a bite of Do-hee’s dish.

Hap. Sss. Chew chew chew.

The mouthwatering ASMR had everyone drooling, temporarily forgetting the monstrosity Magia had created.

— Damn

— Holy crap that looks good

— I’m literally sprinting to my local rice bowl spot

— I NEED to try this right now

Then came the flawless evaluation.

[Tasting Notes]

[With each bite, the fluffy rice, sweet-savory sauce, and chewy eel came together perfectly. If food like this were served every time, I could survive weekly training without complaint. You’re the best, chef!!!]

Honestly, at this point, no one even needed to taste Magia’s dish.

Orca had already mentally classified it as a biochemical weapon.

But content is content.

As soon as Do-hee’s now-empty plate was moved aside, Magia’s seafood sauce jjamppong took its place.

Dear God.

Whether she realized it or not, Magia calmly explained to the prayer-eyed Orca:

“I brought it to a boil with mirin, then added radish, green onions, and bean sprouts. Finally, I cooked the noodles separately and topped it all with spicy jjamppong oil and a splash of lemon juice. Go ahead, try it.”

Only now did the others realize Magia had used a lot of ingredients.

— Huh?

— She added that much stuff?

— When did she do all that?? 😂

Most people had tuned out the moment she pulled out the seafood sauce, or they just never expected anything decent from her cooking to begin with.

Momo asked, puzzled.

It did look like she’d dumped in every ingredient known to be good for seafood stew, but still... just to be sure.

“Wait—mirin? You added mirin?”

“Yep. I heard adding it to fish stew makes it taste way better.”

That was... partly true.

This translation is the intellectual property of Novelight.

All the ingredients she used—including the mirin—did help suppress the fishy smell.

So, when compared to the initial can-opening stench, the odor was surprisingly muted now.

Like they say: even a broken clock is right twice a day.

This was one of those moments.

“...But this isn’t really a stamina dish, is it?”

“Stop being so negative.”

“I’m not being negative, I’m being honest. You just opened a can of seafood sauce. How is that a stamina food?”

“This sauce contains 25% octopus. And octopus is a classic stamina food.”

“You didn’t even know what pomegranate syrup was, and this you know...?”

“The texture was weird when I ate it, so I checked. Turns out it was octopus.”

Magia stirred the soup and showed off the floating seafood bits.

It was octopus, just like she said...

But it didn’t look nearly as nutritious as properly prepped octopus from a store.

— That octopus...

— Feels like I’d be chewing on a tire

— 😂😂😂

— Oh god it’s coming back to me... that gooey explosion when you bite into it

— KRRRRAAAAAK

— Someone stop the food torture 😭

But Orca had to eat it.

This was her punishment.

She was the one who told Magia about the seafood sauce in the first place.

She picked up her chopsticks.

Recalling those military days when you had no choice but to eat whatever was served.

She slurped up the chewy noodles soaked in that bloody red broth.

— Okay but the slurping sounds are good

— Just the sounds tho

— Aaah...

— Oh no...

Sluuurp.

Slurrrrrp.

‘...Wait a sec?’

Something felt off.

Was it... actually kinda tasty?

— What’s going on?

— Is she just slurping for show? 😂

— Is she still eating it?

— ????

The noodles were surprisingly well-cooked.

Maybe because Magia was good at following instructions.

They had that springy texture like a proper bowl of restaurant jjamppong.

And the broth, which everyone had low expectations for, clung to the noodles with a flavor that was—

Unexpectedly okay.

But how??

Given everything she’d thrown in, you couldn’t even tell if it was still seafood sauce or if it had somehow become a Ship of Theseus version of it.

The octopus still had an awful texture, but the fact that anything edible had come out of that can was already a miracle.

Of course, the dish wasn’t without issues.

Do-hee, now curious since Orca was eating it just fine, scooped up a spoonful of the broth.

And immediately sprayed mist all over the now-empty bowl.

“Hey! How much mirin did you put in this?!”

“I used it instead of water when I made the broth.”

“You what?!”

Thanks to the jjamppong oil, the taste had masked it somewhat, but once the broth lingered in your mouth, that strange sweetness and alcoholic kick came rushing in.

Magia had dumped so much mirin in, it might as well have been soup made entirely out of alcohol.

Mirin’s technically a cooking wine, sure—

But it’s still alcohol, and boiling it doesn’t evaporate all of it.

So ✧ NоvеIight ✧ (Original source) basically, Magia had served everyone an alcoholic noodle soup.

And not long after, the effect kicked in for Orca, too.

Her handwriting—once neat and straight—became wobbly and twisted.

As if a drunk earthworm was crawling across the whiteboard.

[Tasting Notes]

[Thot it’d be disgudting but is axtually deliii...—]

Do-hee, who at least knew Orca’s alcohol tolerance from the interview stage, immediately dashed over and grabbed her by the shoulders.

Moments later, Orca collapsed into Do-hee’s arms.

With a beer tolerance of just half a glass, Orca was out cold.

Being the tallest in the room, it took several people huffing and puffing to lay her down on the couch.

A few minutes later, Do-hee returned to the stream and addressed the viewers.

“...Sorry, everyone. Judge O has extreme alcohol intolerance. She passed out. I think we’ll have to call this match a draw...”

— 😂😂😂😂😂😂

— LOLOLOLOL

— This is insane 😂

— Legendary stream moment 😂

— Wait, mirin has alcohol?!

— Bro I just learned something new 😂

Do-hee let out a sigh and muttered,

“You totally did that on purpose just to make this round a draw.”

“No, I seriously didn’t know mirin had alcohol in it.”

“It literally says cooking wine on the label...”

“Come on, do I look like someone who reads ingredients when I cook?”

“Oh for—then why did you read the ingredients on the seafood sauce?!”

— I can’t with this woman 😂😂😂

— She’s a certified cursed dish master

— What’s scarier is the fact that the seafood sauce jjamppong... actually tasted okay 😂

— I bet a new ‘seafood sauce challenge’ is gonna trend soon

At this point, Cheon Do-hee couldn’t shake the growing sense of dread.

What on earth was the final dish going to be?

The proposal dish, meant for Ena—what had Magia brought this time?

Some other cursed recipe from a deep, dark corner of the culinary underworld?

[To the one who wants to propose to me: What dish would you prepare if you invited me to your home?]

[#Confession #Proposal #Romantic]

— Gasp

— mㅇmㅇ

— E Judge just dropped her unfiltered desires damn

And so, the moment Ena revealed the theme on her whiteboard, Do-hee immediately turned to Magia.

“You. What’s your main ingredient this time? Tell me now. Actually, tell me everything—even the sides.”

“Nope. What if you copy my recipe, boss?”

“Why the hell would I copy you?!”

— Classic trait of someone who can’t cook: paranoia and secrecy 😂

— Nobody’s trying to copy you lmao

— Even if they wanted to, they couldn’t 🤣

:: PIN0 has donated 1,000 Clouds! ::

:: Gia, Papa’s fine with anything else—just please cook plain ramen this time? ::

— 😂😂😂

— Even Papa draws the line at her cooking

— Honestly, you’d be lucky to get out of this without a slap

Magia pouted like a kid refusing to share candy, but eventually gave in and confessed her “secret” recipe.

“Pineapple pizza.”

A short silence followed, perfectly capturing everyone’s collective shock.

But the reactions that came after were surprisingly... soft.

In fact, people were welcoming Magia’s choice.

:: Anonymous donor has contributed 1,000 Clouds! ::

:: Finally, a real dish from her?! ::

:: Anonymous donor has contributed 1,000 Clouds! ::

:: Why didn’t she treat O Judge this nicely?! ::

— Yeah, just make pineapple pizza at this point

— Kinda feel bad for O now lmao

— I mean, surely she can make this properly, right? 😂

— Still just pineapple pizza though, isn’t it?

— No but seriously pineapple pizza’s good

— Who in their right mind wants pineapple pizza as a proposal dish though 😂

— You uncultured heathens

— I pity those who can’t appreciate pineapple pizza’s greatness

:: Anonymous donor has contributed 1,000 Clouds! ::

:: At least Pineapple Pizza has a shot with E Judge 😂 ::

— fr tho 😂

— Way better than that cursed seafood sludge

— What if E Judge’s a pineapple pizza fan? You never know

— Honestly anything is better than that seafood sauce mess

— PI NE AP PLE PIZ ZA IS DEL IC IO US WHY DON’T YOU UNDER STAND

The pineapple defenders were gaining ground fast.

Do-hee was flustered, but she kind of understood why.

‘No way... is it because the last dish was so traumatic?’

If Magia had deliberately gone for shock value earlier to lower expectations and make this dish seem amazing by comparison—

Then she had completely nailed it.

Usually, whenever pineapple pizza came up, the chat would turn into a battleground.

But now? Everyone was saying it was perfect for a proposal.

Trying to cool down the chat before it overheated, Do-hee turned to Magia.

“Alright, alright. Let’s all calm down. Let’s hear the reason. Why pineapple pizza for a proposal dish, Magia? Do you have a reason?”

“I told you earlier—I came prepared to win this cooking showdown.”

“You did, yeah.”

“Right. So I picked dishes that would give me an edge with each judge. And for E Judge, I’m telling you—pineapple pizza is the right answer.”

“...So, you’re saying E Judge is a pineapple pizza lover too?”

Right on cue, Ena started scribbling something on her whiteboard, and the moment she raised it, the chat exploded.

[I like all pizza, as long as it tastes good.]

— Soulmates, I’m telling you

— LMAOOOOOOO

— Wishing you two a beautiful love story

— As long as she doesn’t force it on anyone else, it’s fine. Mmm-hmm.

:: PIN0 has donated 1,000 Clouds! ::

:: Truth is, Papa likes pineapple pizza too... ::

— Get out

— You did NOT just say that

— This man’s playing both sides like a damn bat

“But actually, it’s not just about whether E Judge likes it or not,” Magia continued. “There’s a real reason I chose pineapple pizza for a proposal dish.”

“What is it?”

“My future spouse can’t be someone who hates pineapple pizza. So, if I’m the one doing the proposing, of course I’m gonna serve the ultimate pineapple pizza.”

— KYAHAHAHAHA

— ROMANCE KING MAGIA

— This woman’s got style

— Where are all the pineapple haters now, huh?!

— I don’t care anymore, that was smooth as hell 😂

— D E A R G I A

— Now that’s romance!

At last, Do-hee let out a quiet sigh of relief.

Things were going really well.

At this rate, as long as Gia baked the pizza properly, the victory was hers.

Ena would obviously choose Gia’s pineapple pizza, and with that, they could gently bury any controversy about Ena’s past life without further issue.

But you never knew with Magia.

Do-hee trusted her—but still made sure to prepare a backup plan just in case the pizza turned into another culinary tragedy.

‘Good thing I prepped some extra ingredients just in case.’

“...You know what? My final dish is pineapple pizza too.”

— ???

— Is today like, International Pineapple Pizza Day or something?

— Did Magia ruin everyone’s taste buds??

Magia squinted suspiciously at Do-hee.

“Didn’t you say you weren’t copying my dish? Do you even have dough? I’m not sharing mine.”

“I’ve got everything I need, thanks. And I didn’t copy you, okay? You still don’t get why I picked pineapple pizza, do you?”

“...Nope. Not at all.”

Magia may be great at drawing attention, but when it came to truly setting things ablaze in Parallel, no one beat Cheon Do-hee, the six-year streaming veteran.

“With this dish, I get two girlfriends. I’m not cut out for monogamy.”

After a brief pause, the chat exploded.

— This woman’s unhinged

— What’s wrong with Momo today?! 😂😂😂

— Is this a love triangle war?!

— IT’S GETTIN’ HOT

— COME HERE YOU

— HYAAAH!!

— Polar bear slap^BAM! BABABABABAM^BAM!!!

— BI SAAAAAAANG

— Polar bear DOWN!

— All dormant volcanoes have now erupted—BISAAAAAAAAANG

— The thermometer’s shattered

— Earth’s hottest summer, confirmed

— That’s it... it was summer...