Naruto: I'm Gojo Satoru-Chapter 31 The Legendary Lady Kakashi

The next morning, I was stretched out like a lazy cat on a tree branch in the training grounds, staring at the sky with an existential crisis brewing in my soul.

"So. Boring."

I tossed a rock straight up, caught it, repeated. Peak ninja training.

"Why is everyone so busy doing missions all of a sudden? Did a memo go out that said 'complete five before holidays, get a free kunai oil voucher'? Even Itachi nii-san ran off on some C-rank."

Child labor, man. This world has no shame.

I rolled onto my stomach, chin on my forearms. "His birthday's coming up too, isn't it?"

A sinister little smirk crept up my face.

"Well, who knows him better than me?" I muttered, already halfway into an evil plan. "Guess I'll just ask him what he wants myself."

Obviously, Uchiha Satoru wouldn't get an answer. That guy is like a walking brick wall with a superiority complex.

But Wuko?

Heh. He wouldn't refuse Wuko.

Now, what kind of last name goes with Wuko? Can't be Uchiha—that's like wearing a neon sign that says "I'm clearly in disguise." My eyes drifted to my white hair in the reflection of a water bottle.

White hair... silver hair... almost the same thing.

Hatake Wuko, reporting for duty.

I sprinted home with purpose and chaos in equal measure, rummaging through drawers like a raccoon on a sugar high. After much effort (and collateral damage), I pulled it off:

Short white wig. Mask. Forehead protector tilted to cover one eye. Blue battle kimono. Boom.

The mirror confirmed what I already knew.

"Daaang, I make a beautiful and handsome kunoichi!" I purred, hands on hips, posing shamelessly.

Women's version of Kakashi? Please. I am the upgrade.

"I'm Hatake Wuko!" I declared in the most over-the-top, high-pitched tone I could manage. "And I look drop-dead fabulous."

Laughing like a villainess in a soap opera, I activated my secret weapon.

"Teleportation Technique!"

Of course, it wasn't just regular old body flicker. This was Cang—the ability that let me collapse the space between two points into oblivion, turning movement into instant travel.

In simpler terms? Mini black hole. Boom, gone.

I reappeared in a dense forest with a view of the mission route.

According to my flawless mental math (and obsessive stalking habits), Itachi nii-san's squad should be crossing this path soon. A simple escort mission. Nothing should go wrong.

Except it always does.

Then it hit me.

Not a tree branch.

Exhaustion.

"Ugh... my body's protesting again?"

Crap. Guess I overdid it yesterday with all those teleports in the exam. I didn't rest at all today. These baby arms weren't built for spamming dimensional hacks.

But hey... it just means I get to play the damsel now.

"Wuko time," I whispered, letting a mischievous grin take over.

My eye glowed faintly—Six Eyes active.

Now, where is my beloved nii-san—

Wait. What the hell?

Red. Blood. Motion.

I moved before I could think, teleporting again despite the screaming in my spine.

Clang!

I dropped in front of Itachi, intercepting a kunai that would've split him open.

My knees nearly buckled from the effort, but I forced a bright, idiotic grin onto my face like I had it all under control.

"Oof. That... could've gone better."

Across from me stood a man in a mask. Orange swirl. One eye.

Uchiha Obito.

He narrowed his gaze at me. Probably wondering who the heck I was and why I looked like Kakashi got hit with a gender swap jutsu.

Fair.

"Who are you?" he asked, voice like gravel over fire.

Who am I?

I straightened up, barely holding back a grimace, and flipped my white hair like the diva I was born to be.

"Me? Oh, I'm just your average, innocent traveler." I paused, putting a finger to my lips. "Name's Wuko. Just... passing through."

That's right. You've just been blocked by Hatake Wuko, ninja of mystery and fashion icon of vengeance.

Behind me, Itachi's eyes were wide with shock.

Not because of me, probably. He must've just awakened his Sharingan.

So this was the moment. The one where he was supposed to see his comrades fall and awaken his doujutsu.

Guess I changed the script.

But wait... in the anime, Itachi survived Obito somehow. How? This guy wasn't pulling punches. frёeωebɳovel.com

And now he was staring at me like I'd personally drop-kicked his trauma.

Obito's gaze drifted down, and his eye twitched.

Oh. He saw something fall from me. A small charm. Kakashi's.

The air changed.

His voice dropped to a growl. "You're with him."

Oh crap.

Apparently saving Rin and destroying his world in one tragic afternoon wasn't enough—now he wanted revenge on Kakashi's friends, too.

Sucks for him.

I grinned again and struck a pose worthy of a shoujo heroine.

"Oh dear, you seem upset. Did I interrupt your murder spree?"

He didn't answer.

Good. Because I needed to stall for time. My legs were shaking, my chakra was drained, and I'd just volunteered as tribute to one of the most dangerous rogue Uchiha in history.

Again.

Nice going, Wuko.