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Re:life with Karmic Gacha (Modern Family)-Chapter 367: Dance Monkey
Chapter 367 - 367: Dance Monkey
[General POV]
"Are you nervous?" Edward asked Vanessa as they climbed the stairs onto the jet, stepping into the cozy airplane. Edward had changed a lot of the plane's interior. He added a separate room at the tail end of the plane, which had a bed and a toilet in it.
It allowed him to catch up on his rest during his tour. Also for other stuff.
"I'm more nervous about the song than the flying," she replied, rolling her eyes as they made their way to the back and sat at the couch, facing the tv.
Edward paused, a look of disbelief crossing his face. "I was... asking about the song."
"Oh—then, yeah. A little bit," Vanessa admitted, slightly caught off guard.
The plane was parked in the private hangar, awaiting Abed and Margot's arrival before heading to New York.
Edward opened his tablet and scrolled through pictures of various buildings. He turned to Vanessa and asked, "Where do you want to stay tonight?"
"Let me see—are all of these yours?" Her eyes widened in disbelief as she scrolled through the images. Clicking on one, she discovered an apartment that had just been renovated.
"Isn't it dangerous to live here? The security isn't that strong," Vanessa frowned, scrutinizing the five-story building in Williamsburg that Edward owned.
"You're looking at the wrong pages. That's Max's building. Go back and choose the one on the Upper West Side or near Central Park. I have a place with a direct view of the park."
"Huh? Why did you buy the building Max lived in?" Vanessa asked, locking her gaze onto Edward.
He smirked. "The building was in such poor shape that the only residents were creeps and serial killers. I got it for a steal. Now its value has increased over four times what I paid."
"Max lives there?" Vanessa said, incredulous.
"I stand by what I said."
A lot of Edward's strategy in building acquisition was buying stuff nobody wanted and fixing it up for the people to live in. Most of his tenants were his workers, so its was like employee benefits for them.
Edward had completely transformed Max's building since purchasing it. The water was no longer rusty, the leaks and mysterious puddles in the hallways were gone, the air was cleaner, and the serial kidnapper had been arrested.
"I still can't believe she lives in a place like that." Vanessa exclaimed.
"I can't believe she's still alive." Edward added.
In New York, many buildings suffered from mismanagement, creating opportunities for someone with worker androids specialized in construction. They worked for no cost and could even create materials from scratch—though that wasn't always necessary.
Currently, most of the androids were busy on the new company campus in both New York and Los Angeles, while some stayed behind to manage the buildings, maintaining a ratio of one android for every three buildings.
Edward bought properties where financially struggling families were forced to live and improved them, keeping the same rent for the residents. He didn't evict anyone after the renovations.
"Ahh! I'm so anxious I can't even pick the place." Vanessa threw the tablet aside and leaned against Edward. She looked up playfully, meeting his gaze. "I don't mind staying anywhere, as long as I'm with you."
Flattered, Edward grinned and patted her on the head. Vanessa said coyly, pretending not to notice her effect on him, "Why are you looking at me like that? With love in your eyes?"
"Nothing. Just thought you were cute," Edward flirted. Their faces were inches apart, but before their lips could meet, Abed and Margot arrived.
"Oh, did we interrupt?" Abed asked, unsure of how to proceed as he stood at the door, causing Margot to bump into him.
Edward smiled and said, "Just come in." He leaned in and kissed Vanessa anyway, which Margot noticed.
"Are—are you two?" Margot stammered.
"We're dating, but don't tell anyone," Vanessa said, a teasing smile on her lips.
"So, Abed, what happened last night?" Edward asked, genuinely interested. He glanced at Margot, who blushed and looked away, leaving him puzzled.
"Oh, last night I was roleplaying as Margot's protector. That Fox exec was being sleazy and pretended to touch her buttocks by accident, so I punched him in the face."
Edward interrupted, "No, what I meant is, who were you roleplaying as? I don't care about the punch. Is it a specific character or a mix?"
Margot's eyes widened in disbelief. "You don't care?"
Edward shrugged as he turned to her. "Why would I? In fact, if he hadn't done it, I would've done much worse to that guy."
Abed interjected, causing a sudden silence. "Which is why last night I roleplayed as you."
Vanessa became intrigued and asked immediately, "Explain!"
"Thirty percent Edward in Self-Made, fifty percent of him in real life, nineteen percent Draculein Edward," Abed said rapidly.
"What about the one percent?" Edward asked with a chuckle.
"Tony Leung in Lust, Caution," Abed added.
"Why?" Edward was in disbelief. "I thought I was going to be a mixture of a few people on tv, not only myself... and Tony Leung for some reason. I never even watched it so I didn't get the reference."
Abed said immediately, "I only added him for the spy factor. Your character is quite hard to role-play. I hope you're not offended."
"Not really. Margot almost fell for your character last night, so I'm really not offended." Edward said with a teasing smile.
Margot widened her eyes and Vanessa narrowed hers. Margot defended herself immediately, "It's only because he seems like a totally different man. And it was just for a moment, I don't have any crush on him anymore!"
Edward smiled in satisfaction and began his conversation with Margot in earnest. After discussing Jho Low and The Wolf of Wall Street, Margot wanted to hear Edward's opinion.
Edward thought for a moment before saying, "It'll probably be a success. And you don't have to worry about Jho Low. He'll be out of the picture soon. His own country will be the one to get him."
Feeling a little relieved, Margot asked, "And how do you know about that?"
"Just that someone tipped off his countrymen about it," Edward scoffed playfully. "Are you going to take the role?"
"I'm not sure yet," Margot replied, hesitation on her face.
Vanessa turned to Edward and said, "I'm confused. You're making a new movie, but why didn't you call her?"
Margot smiled teasingly and joined Vanessa, trying to catch Edward off guard. "Yeah. Why didn't you, Edward? Then I won't have to struggle like this and consider taking off my clothes for the role."
Edward was confused. "I did offer you a role. Your agent said you were working on another project, so I just moved on and did an open casting instead. Otherwise, you would've become Henley Reeves, one of the main characters of the movie."
Margot was speechless. Her agent never told her about the role. They even rejected Edward on her behalf, which infuriated her since it was the main role!
Abed interjected, unaware of Margot's emotional turmoil, and turned to Vanessa. "By the way, I watched your music video before I got here. I still have no clue what it's all about, but it's catchy."
"Ask him about it. He's the director of the music video," Vanessa said, pointing at Edward.
Edward smiled and said, "Why don't we all watch it together? I wanted to see people's reactions to the song too. I think we've waited long enough."
...
Fans were waiting on the official Entertain Music page for the song to drop. The release date had been announced about a week ago, making the die-hard fans of 'Nessa' excited.
The music video started with a shot of Vanessa in an old man disguise, sitting on a lone chair inside a retirement home.
"Eurgh... Why does she look like that?" Taylor complained as she watched the music video. Selena chuckled and said, "Maybe her boyfriend has a thing for an old, wrinkly guy? Maybe that's the reason he dated you before—"
Selena's face was met with a pillow swung by Taylor in full force.
The piano riff immediately calmed them down, and they continued watching the music video.
Vanessa's unique vocal instantly pulled the listener into the song.
"♫♪ They say, "Oh my god, I see the way you shine! Take your hands, my dear, and place them both in mine" ♫♪
"♫♪ You know you stopped me dead while I was passing by! And now I beg to see you dance just one more time ♫♪"
"Oh, this is nightmarishly catchy." Selena muttered, fully surprised by the song.
"♫♪ Ooh, I see you, see you, see you every time! And oh my, I, I, I like your style ♫♪"
"♫♪ You, you make me, make me, make me wanna cry! And now I beg to see you dance just one more time ♫♪!"
Taylor grimaced and said, "Knowing Edward is the one who made it, I'm not even surprised. But I think there's something more in the lyrics. I still don't know what yet."
"♫♪ So they say; "Dance for me, dance for me, dance for me, oh-oh-oh
I've never seen anybody do the things you do before" ♫♪"
"♫♪ They say; "Move for me, move for me, move for me, eh-eh-eh
And when you're done, I'll make you do it all again"♫♪"
Taylor furrowed her eyebrows, it was like the answer was right in front of her, but she couldn't grasp it.
"♫♪ I said, "Oh my god, I see you walking by
Take my hands, my dear, and look me in my eyes"
Just like a monkey, I've been dancin' my whole life
But you just beg to see me dance just one more time ♫♪"
Cameron and Mitchell watched the music video together with Lily. The 4 year old greatly enjoyed the song.
"Sad lyrics hidden in the background of a riveting, upbeat music; yeah this is Edward's trademark." Mitchell commented smugly. "I wonder if he wrote this when he got tired of his tour." He added.
Cameron scoffed and said, "I understand the lyrics and the melody clashing themes, but what's with the music video? I mean, what's the idea behind this? Why is Nessa in a fat suit!?"
In the music video, Vanessa was acting unhinged, breaking a football club and getting chased by posh rich boys.
"♫♪Ooh, I see you, see you, see you every time! And oh my, I, I, I like your style!
You, you make me, make me, make me wanna cry! And now I beg to see you dance just one more time ♫♪
The raunchy ways of Vanessa moving her tongue, her unhinged behavior, all made the audience very confused. Despite all of that, the rhythm still sucked them into the song.
♫♪ So they say; "Dance for me, dance for me, dance for me, oh-oh-oh
I've never seen anybody do the things you do before" ♫♪
♫♪ They say; "Move for me, move for me, move for me, eh-eh-eh
And when you're done, I'll make you do it all again" ♫♪
♫♪ They say; "Dance for me, dance for me, dance for me, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
I've never seen anybody do the things you do before" ♫♪
♫♪ They say; "Move for me, move for me, move for me, eh-eh-eh
And when you're done, I'll make you do it all again" ♫♪
Edward and Vanessa looked at each other before both of them burst into laughter as they watched the music video. Abed was confused and asked, "What's the purpose of the cinematography? I kept racking my brain, but I don't get it."
♫♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh
Ooh, ah-ah, ah-ah ♫♪
Edward explained, "It's about dancing." Then he added, "Feeling like you are made to dance like a monkey to just get through the monotony of life. The things we do to feel alive at the last moment of our life."
Margot and Abed immediately changed the way they looked at the music video. Even though the music video was still goofy, they felt like it had a certain sadness to it.
The song continued to its last verse.
♫♪ So they say; "Dance for me, dance for me, dance for me, oh-oh-oh
I've never seen anybody do the things you do before" ♫♪
♫♪ They say; "Move for me, move for me, move for me, eh-eh-eh
And when you're done, I'll make you do it all again" ♫♪
♫♪ They say; "Dance for me, dance for me, dance for me, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
I've never seen anybody do the things you do before" ♫♪
♫♪ They say; "Move for me, move for me, move for me, eh-eh-eh
And when you're done, I'll make you do it all again" ♫♪
The song's reaction was inherently positive, but the audience was unaware of its impending consequences. It would soon dominate the entire country, then the world, leading some to develop a hatred for it due to its constant overplay.
Still, they would find themselves hearing the song repeatedly, even while loathing it.
Just like someone who has no freedom to pursue their own desires.
Just like a monkey forced to dance for the entertainment of others.
...
[Edward POV
Margot and Abed left the plane as it was time for me to fly to New York. Vanessa and I spent most of our time talking on the plane—even taking a simple nap on the plane bed.
"I feel like you forgot something," Vanessa suddenly said as the plane landed.
"What?" I asked, slightly taken aback.
"Weren't you going to let Willa Holland come with you?" she asked curiously.
"Oh," I breathed in relief before saying, "Nah, she'll come here with Randall on Sunday. What's the point of coming early? I'm here for SNL, not because of the movie."
Vanessa nodded, and then she realized something. She crossed her arms, slightly annoyed, and accused me, "Why did you tell Abed about the meaning of the music video but not me? I've asked you about it all the time. He asked you once, and you just gave it away easily."
I chuckled and said, "Abed has Asperger's. He really can't grasp things deeper than what's on the surface—no emotional nuances, no irony. He needs the explanation served to him on a silver platter."
Vanessa groaned. "Great, now I look like a bitch for bringing it up."
"Aww babe, it's okay. You're my bitch, so I'll still love you no matter what," I teased, patting her on the head.
She got angry and playfully attacked me, trying to bite my hand.
We stayed at my apartment in Central Park, as Vanessa wanted to sleep off the jet lag before meeting with the SNL writer the next morning.
I met with Julio Torres and discussed several ideas for the skit. Julio had an idea to promote the series Psychopath Diary while making people laugh at the same time.
It would start the same way as the TV series, but instead of a psychopath's diary, I would find someone else's diary. I suggested Gordon Ramsay from Hell's Kitchen, while he suggested someone from Game of Thrones or Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother.
We still hadn't finalized the skit yet. He left to discuss it with the SNL head writer and get opinions from the other, more experienced cast members.
"Why didn't you go to SNL with him?" Vanessa asked as Julio left the penthouse.
I turned to her slowly and replied, "Actually, I wanted to go. But he and Jason (Sudeikis) told me not to for now."
"Huh? Why is that?" Vanessa approached me from the bar where she had been sitting and sat next to me on the couch.
I shrugged and said, "I have no idea. If I had to guess, they're trying to protect me. Otherwise, the senior comedians will push their comedy specials for me to put on Netflix. Then I'd have to shell out a few million just to be polite."
Vanessa widened her eyes in surprise before nodding in understanding. Then she sneered, "You aren't going to shell out anything. You don't care if people think you're rude."
I nodded and grinned. "Well, it's what Jason thought I'd do, not what I was actually going to do."
Both of us went out to get some food before heading to Max's apartment. I smelled the sweet scent of freshly made cupcakes as I stood in front of her door. After ringing the doorbell, I heard Caroline's voice asking, "Who is it?"
"Strippergram!" I shouted back. Vanessa chuckled and punched my arm lightly in annoyance at the bad joke.
Max became excited and told Caroline, "Open it up! I want to see him undress!" fгee𝑤ebɳoveɭ.cøm
"We DIDN'T ORDER ONE!" Caroline rebuked. "What if it's a murderer?"
"It depends if he's hot or not," Max replied casually. "If he's ugly, just kill me. If he's hot, we might go on a few dates first."
"I knew letting you see You was a bad idea," Caroline said angrily before using the peephole. She exclaimed in happiness before opening the door as soon as she saw who was behind it.
"EDDY!" Caroline hugged me immediately. Max widened her eyes in surprise and said, "Edward! You're the hot stripper killer?"
"Ness!" Caroline hugged Vanessa next and stood beside us, all giggly. I narrowed my eyes at Max and opened my arms wide. "Aren't you going to come hug me too?"
"I'd rather jump off the Brooklyn Bridge than have Caroline's sloppy seconds," Max grinned mischievously.
"Come here or I'll tell everyone what happened at the red-light district—"
"Eddy! It's been so long!" Max changed her tune and rushed to hug me. Both of them were wearing Max's Cupcake black shirts, which were their shop's uniforms. Caroline had a rounded neck, and Max, as usual, had a deep cleavage cut on hers.
"Geez, two years together and I still had to resort to blackmail to get a warm welcome," I joked with Max.
Max played along. "Yeah, that's the only way you're going to get anything from me. With crime! Now, when are you going to strip? We're all waiting!"
Caroline interjected, "I want to know what happened at the red-light district first before I can enjoy it."
Vanessa grimaced and said, "He's not going to strip for you guys!"
I chuckled and exposed the secret to Caroline casually, "We saw someone who looked just like Max who worked as an escort."
Max grinned and added, "People began to offer me money to see me dance with her. I would've done it if we're only dancing."
Vanessa and I sat at the couch I bought for them, and watched Max make cupcakes while we caught up.
"Max's Cupcake has been doing really well. It got really big! We're even considering franchising." Caroline said gleefully.
"Really? Big? It looks like it shrank a little." Vanessa said, looking directly at Max's chest. It jiggled as she prepared the dough.
"It doesn't– Oh, you're looking at Max's chest." Caroline almost defended her business before realizing what Vanessa was referring to.
Max said disgruntledly, "I worked so much that I lost some weight. These puppies are the first to go!"
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