"Cookie number one!" 𝒻𝓇𝑒𝘦𝘸𝑒𝒷𝓃ℴ𝑣𝘦𝑙.𝒸ℴ𝘮

"Cookie number two, and very nice throw, brother."

"I'm getting better! It's the "Frisbee Toss" that does the trick."

"Where do these people find these strange techniques?"

Boom-boom was getting used to the twins' non-stop chatter, but that didn't mean he liked it. "Less talk, more cookies. This one has a narrow mouth. Dodge on your next throw, I'm shooting when you deploy the bait."

Ringtail flung his next cookie, and the gigantic battle snail opened wide, sucking down the cookie but also an explosive bazooka round. The clever scout had back-flipped immediately, taking cover behind the shell of the last snail they had killed just before their current target exploded. This snail had the decency to simply die. Some had a lot more 'burney' and too little 'battle' in their ancestry and exploded in massive fireballs. The twins were swathed in bandages and soaked in burn ointment from previous explosions. They refused to take a break to regenerate.

"We are brave scouts. And injuries mean cheese. We like cheese."

"And students of our mentor, Scoutmaster Tallsqueak. Danger and getting hurt is our profession."

"We also like the steady flow of experience, levels, and points. Our mentor has shown us the path to greatness."

Both were in a manic state from the excitement and too much cheese, wild-eyed and never stopping in their task of lining up the largest snails, and tempting them to open their maws. Despite their antics and rapid-fire comments, no one seemed overly annoyed. The dwarves, normally a stoic race when it came to warfare, had learned to relax a bit and enjoy the chaos that seemed to fill their lives. The twins were doing a dangerous job, a job that needed doing if they were going to take down the tough battle snails. Even as one snail exploded, more were on the way, slowly moving across the cave. Or in the case of the small red ones, racing forward at breakneck speed. Those were Narwal's responsibility. She was firing at a steady pace, killing the burney snails before they got close enough to release their flames.

Ursula was handling the acidic bombardiers. What was long range for a snail was short range for her new weaponry. The twin-linked heavy chain cannons mounted atop her would fire a short burst, and one of the smaller snails would disappear in an explosion of snail guts and shattered shells. The acidic snails splashed the nearby battle snails, weakening their armor, and the fireballs from the red, burney snails could do untold damage, setting off chain reactions across the snail army.

Unlike the myconian constructs who could only slog forward to engage in close combat, the expedition was armed with a variety of weapons and was adapting to the most efficient way to slaughter the malevolent mollusks at long range. And efficient was good, because there seemed to be no end to the snail onslaught. This cavern was vast, widening out from their entrance point. This forced the snails to move closer together, and the expeditions fire teams were set up just inside the cavern where the brave scouts had first encountered the hostile mollusks. After they and Professor Boom began to clear the snails in the area, several of the Red Racers zoomed away and brought back reinforcements. Most of the Engineers and Scavengers didn't consider more snails to be a problem. It was a chance for any dwarf with experimental weaponry to test their cannons and ammunition against a tough foe.

And while all of the gunners were proud of their weapons and boasting about their kill count, they couldn't help but keep watching as Ursula took out one snail after another, roaring when she managed to cause a large explosion. They'd heard of the new explosive powder that Boom-Boom's team had been testing, but seeing it in action with the upgraded weaponry that Senior Engineer Milo had constructed was stirring their competitive nature. Many were drawing up plans for even larger guns, and a rousing discussion was carried on as they blew apart one snail after another. The scavengers had brought along barrels of rum, which were quickly tapped, and the alcohol began to flow. Scavengers and Engineers began to man the same guns, drinking together and joking. It was a nearly perfect day as far as they were concerned.

The survey team, meanwhile, kept exploring. Peenhammer and his assistants, along with their parents, were carefully working their way along the edge of the cavern and staying away from the conflict. When they had no choice, Rosie and Buttercup would engage a snail in a one-sided battle. They were practicing their "Guard Skills" today, wearing armor and fighting with huge, two-handed hammers. The snails would go defensive after their first attacks caused injuries to their heads, but that couldn't save them. The girls were growing stronger as they leveled, their stats multiplied by Fiendish Strength. They were delighted to be able to hit something as hard as they could and not worry about hurting a playmate. Tallsqueak was the only person who let them go all out. But now, they had snails for temporary playmates. After a dozen shell-shattering blows, they would rip off the broken shell, and the fight was over. The fights were even quicker if the snail used acid or fire. Both of those elements hurt them, and the pain added to their strength. Afterward, they would run home to Gendifur, show her their boo-boos, and she would bandage them up even as their Fiendish Regeneration healed them. Boo-boos meant cookies, which took the sting out of their injuries. They giggled as they had their cookie and juice breaks, made their drawings, and compared who was gaining the most Fire Resistance and Acid Resistance.

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

Peenhammer was keeping careful notes as they explored in the direction Senior Engineer Milo had indicated they needed to go. The cavern was getting wider, but they kept to the edge, traveling roughly in the correct direction. Rosie and Buttercup were put to work making drawings of the landscape, noting where there were swampy areas, light forest, or open areas of dirt and sand. And everywhere, there were snails. Herds of snails and loners, chewing on vegetation and moving slowly. It was while they were taking a break and making note of any landmarks that Peenhammer saw the corals.

In a large field, stone posts had been set in the ground and wire fencing strung between them. They weren't in good shape; some of the poles were knocked over, and the wire was broken. But it made him wonder what sort of animal someone had been trying to grow. It was a good cave for it, with ample light from the overhead crystals, and waterfalls filling pools and streams. If the snails weren't so plentiful, it would be a nice place. There was no possibility that those small fences had been made to keep in the monstrous snails, and he wondered who had lived here. The Deep-down was a vast place and had room for endless pockets where different races lived.

"Time to get moving, people. I think we have a drop off coming up, looks like this cavern has a lower area, and I want to take a look at it." The girls put their drawing materials away neatly in their packs and moved to the front of the party, sniffing the air and using their superior senses to hunt for trouble. They'd run into no other creatures in this huge cavern that wasn't some variety of large, monstrous snail. As predicted, the ground fell away, with a steep slope dropping down into a lower cavern. From his vantage point, Peenhammer could see something odd across the valley on the far wall. Pulling out a pair of long-range vision enhancers, he took a look and whistled long and loudly, something that Rosie and Buttercup were profoundly interested in learning to do. Neither had managed to whistle yet, but they kept trying, with a little instruction from Peenhammer.

"What do you see?! What do you see?! Tell us."

He smiled at them and slowly said, "Well, I would, but I'm a little worried that someone might go running off to investigate. So I need promises that won't happen."

They looked at each other, then at Brutus. He grinned and said, "Oh, I promise to be good. How about you two?"

They grumbled a little, but both said, "We promise."

Peenhammer brought out his own drawing tools, "Ok, so here's a rough sketch of the area we've covered, and I'd guestimate that the far wall of this next area is about three miles. What's over there is a large structure, sort of like a wizard's tower, made out of the native stone. It blends in really well with the background. The area in between has a few other buildings, and a lot of large pens and fenced-in areas. The snails have taken over there as well, and they're thick on the ground around the tower. Hard to judge how big they are, but I think some of them make that Gargantua creature look small. I'm itching to go down there and work toward the tower, but that might be pushing things a bit. It's pretty clear on the slope, so what I'm thinking is we carefully work our way across to the other side of the cavern, and make a full circle as we head back to camp. Think you can all be a little sneaky and stay together?"

All four ratkin nodded their heads in agreement. Peenhammer took a final look at the route. "Seems pretty open. I'm betting the stuff below stays there, and the same with the herds up top. Gives a good route to cross over."

They traveled carefully across the top edge of the slope, and everything went well until Buttercup stopped, sniffing the air. "I smell something. Sort of musty-old-stinky smell, like when daddy wears his socks for too many days on patrol."

"Not that bad, sister! This is only half as stinky as that!"

Brutus looked sheepish. Gendifur rolled her eyes, "I've told you about that. You aren't a bachelor living in the barracks anymore. From now on, bring your guard clothing home every night. No stinky daddies."

The girls giggled, then both turned suddenly and growled. From behind a rocky outcropping came a snail. It was old, and its shell no longer had the pearlescent shine typical of the snails they'd seen so far. Its skin was a deep brown, pockmarked with old scars. Two large eyes looked at them, as they swiveled around on long eyestalks. It was only a third the size of a battle snail, yet it gave off an aura that shook all five of them.

As it got closer, its name snapped into view: Old Crusty, Guardian of the Great Divide. As it turned, they could see that painted on the side of the shell was the number "13" in faded green paint. The decrepit, and quite stinky snail stopped moving closer to them, and screamed. It was a high-pitched whistle that made Peenhammer jealous and made the girls cover their ears. Before the call ended, over a hundred snails began sprinting toward the intruders, moving almost at a fast walk.

Peenhammer eyed the distances to the walls. The far side was closer, but had a stinky, old snail blocking their path. "Back the way we came, double time!"

The girls looked disappointed. Brutus and Gendifur each took one by the arm, "A good guard knows when to stay and fight, and when to run. And it is definitely time to run."